Page 106 of I Got You

I place my finger under her chin, tipping her face up so she’ll look at me. “You ok?”

She closes her eyes and lets out a breath. When she opens them, those deep blue eyes pierce something deep inside me. “Is it ok if I’m not?”

“Yes. I want to help.” I don’t just want to help. I want to make it better, but I have no freaking clue how to do that. I’ve never been that for someone. The person that makes anything better.

“I know,” she whispers, her voice shaky.

She’s been keeping me at arm's length, so maybe this is the best I can do. I hope it’s enough. I want it to be enough and that, instead of feeling like I’m being pushed back to the outside, she’ll invite me in and allow me to stay a while longer.

I pull her close again, giving her a hug I know she needs. It’s what I need, to feel her close to me. These damn hugs have gotten to me, and now I need them. Her arms tighten around me, and I breathe her in. The scent of vanilla and lavender that I’ve missed. Her softness and strength. The way she holds on to me like she needs me.

“Shit!” she whispers. “Teddy. He’s probably completely freaked out. One of us needs to go get him.”

“What?”

“He has a fear of being left behind, and I’m sure he’s heard about Garrett…He’s probably losing his mind thinking the worst and worried we won’t remember him.”

I squeeze her shoulders. “I’ll go get him and then call you to see if I should bring him here to see Garrett or if we should just meet you at home.”

“Ok.” Maggie nods. “Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me.” I pull my keys from my pocket.

She hugs me one more time, and I step out, hurrying to make sure my other little guy knows he’s safe and not forgotten.

Chapter 40

MAGGIE

“What’s that?” Shane stands at the end of the bed, running a towel over his head. His shirt sticks to his still damp body, revealing his enormous strength and ability. I need all that strength to transcend the space and straight into me.

The abhorrent large manila envelope that’s been hidden in the depths of my closet for the last ten years sits in front of me on the bed. It might as well weigh a thousand pounds, given the magnitude of emotions it has swirling within me, all of which seem to be settling on my chest. I’ve been dreading this for weeks, well, really, for the past ten years, praying I’d never have to open it again.

“I need to tell you about what’s in here.” I take a steady breath, trying to calm the impending anxiety attack. “And then, I need to show you.”

I don’t want to look at him, but I force myself to. His brow wrinkles as he hangs the towel over the door and then comes to sit next to me.

We haven’t talked much the past few days. Mark and Sean were here, and I used them as an excuse to keep my distance, letting him be with his brothers. More than that, though, I’m scared. I’m scared of how much I care about this large wanna-be grump, but I know differently. This quiet and hardened by life man is soft and sweet and so tender-hearted under all that tough exterior.

Finding him propped up in bed next to Garrett today in the ER only solidified all that for me. I care about him so much. I love him. I’ve fallen in love with him, but I’m scared he doesn’t or won’t love me back.

I’m scared to show him what’s inside this envelope. I don’t want to see his reaction or know what he thinks. I don’t want to see his disbelief. Even more terrifying is his possible disbelief in me.

I don’t want to relive this, but mostly, I don’t want the kids or anyone else to be affected by it. I don’t want to see the pictures or read the documents, let alone let the world see them, but I will if there’s even the slightest possibility that it will prevent Cliff and Joan from taking this any further. If it protects Liv, I’ll suffer any consequences. I’ll relive all of it. I made it through once. I can do it again.

I try to sit taller, hoping it will help, but I know I just need to get this over with. I shove my hands under my thighs, trying to get them to stop shaking.

“I have to hand this over to the attorney, but before I do, I need to tell you about it. First, though, you should know I’d really like to burn this and never have anyone see the contents…ever.”

I take another slow breath as every muscle in my body begins to vibrate, and my heart pumps harder, louder. “I think there’s a chance that what’s in here will prevent Cliff and Joan from taking things any further, but I don’t know. I hope it’ll be enough, but if it’s not, then it’s possible this could get ugly and become news. How far it will spread, I have no idea.”

Shane sits next to me, quietly listening, and I turn to steal a glance at him. His scruffy jaw is set, and his eyes are filled with apprehension.

I squeeze my eyes shut tight, forcing myself forward. “I’ll do whatever I need to keep Liv. Anything. I hoped being married would be enough, but Ben says Cliff and Joan are determined to pursue this and will use part of this information against me, but they don’t know I have this.”

I pick up the envelope, watching it wobble as I hand it to him. He takes it but just holds it before setting it down.

“Maggie.” He waits for me to look at him. “Take a breath.” I look at him, trying to pull one in, but it’s like breathing through a cocktail straw. “Tell me what’s in there.”

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