Page 13 of The Stars Over Hollywood

“I’m sorry,” Hayden said quietly. “I had no idea.”

“No one does. I think Charlotte knows. I never talked to her about it, but she saw us arguing in the hallway once, so caught up in the moment that we forgot that someone might overhear us. But Charlotte never said anything, and I hadn’t come out yet. I wasn’t ready. I think that was one of the many problems with that whole situation. We were so insulated from everyone and everything. Our affair couldn’t affect the show. It couldn’t get out because it might ruin my career, and it would have definitely ruined her marriage. She couldn’t be seen having a relationship with one of the actors. It was such a crazy time when I think back on it now.”

“And you went through it alone?”

Tracy met her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Hayden exhaled softly. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m glad that you felt that you could trust me with that.”

Tracy nodded. “I’m not sure why I did, but somehow, even after all these years, saying it out loud… It’s kind of like I’ve released it. Like I had it locked away in the back of my mind, always threatening to come out. That’s why Lara’s attempt to get me back into acting with that surfing movie just… I couldn’t even contemplate it. I’m done acting. And it’s not because of her, although she is still in the business, and our paths would cross again. But it’s more that… That part of my life is over.”

“I get that.” Hayden looked up towards the house. “We should probably get back.”

“Yeah.”

Hayden bent to pick up her empty beer bottle. “I noticed you don’t drink. Not even the champagne.”

“I don’t think I had a problem, but I just associate alcohol with that time in my life. If I had a glass of wine now… It’d take me right back.”

Tracy walked alongside Hayden, a lightness in her step, a weight lifted from her shoulders. She did still wonder what was going on with Hayden, but that would have to wait for another day.

8

Hayden’s eyes fluttered open, and she gave up on sleeping, her eyes focusing on the screen in front of her, the map showing their plane making its way over the United States. She should be exhausted after all the traveling, but she still couldn’t sleep.

She glanced over at Lara who was typing away on her phone, the hum of the plane drowning out the conversations going on around them.

Hayden wore a baseball cap and no makeup, just in case someone might recognize her, but so far, no one had. She exhaled, a different kind of tiredness setting in. She was going back to reality, those relaxing days in Spain already fading into the distance.

She had an audition to go to, one that she really wanted. It would easily be her biggest job yet. One of four lead characters in a sci-fi series. It would be unlike anything she’d ever done before, with more action scenes, more digital effects. It would be a challenge, but it would also be a nice payday, and she’d love to stop worrying about paying rent each month.

Hayden looked over her shoulder, the couple behind them fast asleep, the young boy sitting in the middle glued to the screen in his hands.

“Lara?”

“Hm?” Lara didn’t look up from her phone for a few seconds, still typing. “Yeah?”

“I’m not sure that I’m straight,” Hayden said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lara tore her eyes away from the screen, dropping her phone in her lap, blinking at her.

“You don’t seem shocked,” Hayden said slowly when Lara just stared at her.

“Where’s this coming from?”

Hayden shrugged. “I never really thought about it. I mean, I’ve always had gay friends. There were always rumors about me and some guy I was working with, and I’ve never really dated anyone for more than a few weeks. I always ran. And now I think I know why.”

“We shouldn’t be talking about this here,” Lara said, her voice low. “Just in case.” She gave Hayden’s forearm a squeeze. “Come back to mine when we land?”

“Yeah.” Hayden swallowed, her heart racing. She’d said it out loud, and the world hadn’t ended. She felt like she’d said something honest instead of the usual way she had to dodge questions from the media about her personal life and even Lara.

Hayden had no reason to hide who she was. She just hadn’t known who that was.

And for some reason, those few days in Spain seemed to give her the answers she hadn’t even realized she was looking for.

* * *

Hayden left her suitcase and backpack inside the door to Lara and Charlotte’s home. She was tired now, but she wanted to have this conversation with Lara more than she wanted to sleep.

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