Page 91 of Powerless

“You need to let her go.” My mind is breaking as I try to find a reason why I’m breathing and Kathryn isn’t. I have no idea how much time passes before Liam stands. “Bennett.” My heart is being torn out of my chest. I can’t fix this. I’m paralyzed and completely powerless. “Bennett,” Liam repeats.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I turn a little and nod. “I know,” I acknowledge. “I’m not sure I can.”

“Kathryn’s gone.”

I don’t say a word. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold Kathryn tighter against me. “I’m sorry, my love.” I place a delicate kiss on her lifeless, cold lips before carefully lowering her to the bed and closing her eyes.

My mind is broken and my soul is weeping as I let Kathryn go. I’m so numb to everything. I don’t hear another word from anyone. As if the world has slowed to a crawl, Liam walks over to the door and opens it. One by one, people file into our bedroom. The doctor comes over to me and says something, but I can’t tear my eyes off my wife, nor can I hear the words he’s speaking.

They bring in a gurney and line it up next to the bed. I fall to my knees as I watch them delicately lift Kathryn off the bed. I’ve run out of time with my wife. Damn, I miss her so much.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I watch them wheel Kathryn out of the room.

The doors finally close, leaving me alone in our room.

Time has come to a crashing halt.

My soul is broken.

My heart has stopped beating.

Without my wife, I’m only half a man.

10

BENNETT

I feel so numb as I stand in our bedroom and look around. She’s touched every part of this room. I shove my hands in my pockets and continue to stare.

It’s been a week since Kathryn passed and I can’t bring myself to accept it.

“Bennett,” Liam’s deep voice calls. I don’t turn to acknowledge him. I’m not sure I can do this. “Bennett.” He places his hand on my shoulder. I lower my head and exhale deeply. “We have to go.”

“I know.” My legs feel like they’re going to buckle beneath me. My heart is drowning in pain as I try to tear myself away from our room. “I’ll be there in a minute.” I step further into the room, searching for anything of Kathryn’s I can take with me. Her wedding and engagement rings sit on the table beside the bed, and I keep looking at them. I glance behind me to find Liam has left our bedroom. “I miss you,” I say as I head over to the bed and sit on the edge. I pick her rings up and turn them in my palm several times. “Why did you leave me, baby?” I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees and dropping my head into my hands.

My throat is closing as I struggle with life without Kathryn.

“Sir,” Jamie says as he knocks once on the door.

I lift my head, and stand from the bed. I look at her rings and place them back on the bedside table. I walk over to the door but turn and glance once again around the room. “Have the room down the hall prepared for me,” I instruct Jamie.

He gives me a small nod and tight smile. “Yes, sir.”

I close the door to our bedroom and vow to myself to never use this room again. It reminds me too much of Kathryn, and I’m not ready yet to let her go. I probably will never be. So for now, this room is off limits.

“Mr. President, Kathryn’s mother has arrived,” Jamie adds.

“Where is she?”

“She’s downstairs.”

“I want her to ride with me to the church.”

Jamie flicks a look at Mark who’s already relaying my request.

We head down to the portico, where the cars are waiting. The entire White House staff are in mourning. Esther is waiting with Kathryn’s mom, both of them are an absolute mess. Understandably.

“Bennett,” Lauren says and engulfs me in a hug.

---