Page 57 of Powerless

“It means our life will never be our own. We’ll always be in front of the tabloids, news, and the rumors...” He whistles as he exhales. “It can ruin us.”

“Only if we let it, Bennett.” I turn into Mom’s street and drive slowly until I pull into her driveway. “Well, here we go.” My heart is hammering inside my chest, and I feel sick to my stomach. Mom will be disappointed and upset that I want to leave college to become a librarian. But, it’s what I want and I just hope she’s okay with it.

The driver’s door opening startles me. I wish this was over. “Are you ready?”

“Sure,” I say, my voice cracking. I take Bennett’s extended hand and he helps me out of the car. As we walk toward the front door, I can hear the thumping of my heart in my ears. My pulse quickens and I feel like I’m going to vomit. “Alright,” I say, trying to pep myself into confidence. I knock once on the door and wait.

Mom flings the door open, and the moment we’re inside, she has her arms wrapped around me. “Kathryn.” She peppers me with a ton of kisses. “I’ve missed my girl,” she says and squeezes me. Mom steps backward and scans her gaze down my body. “I hate how far away you are. You need to come back to me.” She abruptly turns to Bennett. “Come back!” she demands playfully.

“As soon as school is over,” Bennett says.

“How are you, Bennett?” She gives me another small hug before releasing me.

“Really well,” Bennett replies.

“So, come in. Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“I could use a soda,” I say.

“Let’s sit and we can talk.” Mom scurries ahead and Bennett and I follow. Our home isn’t as extravagant as Bennett’s parents’ home, but it’s certainly nice and comfortable. It’s exactly what Mom needs. Bennett pulls a chair out for me in the dining room before he sits beside me and we wait for Mom to return. “Here we go. My own lemon iced tea.” Mom pours a glass out for each of us. She takes a sip of hers, then places the glass on the table. “Let’s get down to business.”

“What are you talking about, Mom?” I ask, my nerves are completely shot.

“You’re here to tell me something.” She casts a suspicious eye over Bennett and me. “What is it? Are you pregnant?”

“God no!” I say with too much enthusiasm. “Nothing like that.”

“Then what?” Mom picks her glass up and takes a sip. “I know you’re doing extremely well at school, so it can’t be that.” My face faulters as I avoid her eyes. “So, it’s school then.”

I look everywhere but at Mom as I intake a long breath. “I don’t want to finish the degree.”

“What?” Mom’s voice is unusually high. “What do you mean you don’t want to finish it? You’re two years in which means you only have—”

“It’s not for me. I’m good at it, but I hate it. I dread going to every class, I hate waking up knowing I have to go back there to do something I don’t want to do.”

Mom sits back in her seat as her shoulders relax. “How long have you felt like this?”

“Since you told me this was my career option.”

“What? Why on earth would you leave it so long?”

“Because I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Disappoint me?” Her hand flies up to her chest. “You could never do that, Kathryn. I thought you wanted it.”

“I only wanted it because you did.”

“This could’ve all been avoided if you just told me.” Now I feel like a complete idiot. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? Like two years ago?”

“It’s always been you and me, and you’ve worked so hard to give me everything I ever wanted. You saw I was good with numbers and it kind of went from there.” I look around to the backyard, avoiding my mother’s hurt gaze. “I feel like an idiot.”

“No, don’t do that to yourself.” Mom stands and walks around to where I’m sitting. She squats in front of me and takes my hands in hers. “I’m sorry, Kathryn. I should’ve paid more attention.”

“I was nervous about telling you. I thought you’d be angry or disappointed with me.”

“I’m neither. But what is it you want to do?”

“I want to be a librarian.”

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