Page 56 of Powerless

“Damn it,” he mumbles.

“I’m talking about keeping Jen’s secret.” I swallow and intake a sharp breath. “I’m glad we did that for her. It’s just a shame her parents haven’t accepted Jen and have basically washed their hands of her. It really is sad that once she stood up for herself, her parents were so upset that they haven’t spoken to her since. But at least she’s happy now. She’s herself and doesn’t have to hide. Hopefully, she’ll find her person soon.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if one of our kids ended up being gay.”

Did he say what I think he did? Our kids? I take a moment to gather my thoughts before I say, “Yeah, you do.” I’m not going to freak out about the whole kids thing. Nope, I refuse to allow it to mess with me. “Look at what you did for someone you barely knew. Which means, you know you’d love your kid unconditionally, regardless of their sexuality or gender.”

“Huh.” He turns in his seat to stare at me. “And here I thought you were going to have a full-on panic attack because I said our kids.”

“I’m hiding it,” I admit. “It’s there, but I’m trying not to let it get to me.”

“What do you think about us having kids?”

“We’re too young to consider something so life altering.”

“I’ve been thinking about it.”

“I’m not ready for this, Bennett.”

“I know because I’m not ready for it either, but I do want kids. Later. Much later.”

“I want you in the White House first.”

“We both know that—”

“Politics is all about perception. I know, I know,” I say cutting off his sentence. “But, I’m not going to have a child because it’s what’ll get you elected. If you can’t be elected without a family, then you’re not a very good politician.”

“Hey.” Bennett lifts his hand to his chest. “That cut deep.”

“Too bad. It’s my truth, Bennett.” The car is blanketed in silence as I continue toward my mom’s. “Look,” I start so I can break the tension. “I’m not saying I don’t want kids. I’m just saying, let’s revisit this topic after college, and hopefully, if all goes well today, I’ll be working as a librarian.” I don’t even know what else to say. Kids aren’t my priority at this stage.

“I’d like to know we’re both on the same page though.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Are kids a hard ‘no’?”

“I already said they aren’t. I’m just not having kids to fit a political agenda. Besides, I want us to be stable before we decide to try for a baby.”

“What about marriage?”

“What about it?” I ask.

“Is that something you want?” Bennett asks as he shifts in his seat.

“Long term, absolutely. Right now? Hell no.”

“What about a long engagement?” I shrug indifferently. “That’s not a hard ‘no’?”

“I don’t mind a long engagement, hell, I think I’d really love that. I just want us established and knowing where we’re going before we bring a child into this world. I want us financially secure too.” I glance toward him. “Do you think my request is unreasonable?”

“Not at all. It’s actually highly logical. You don’t want us to do anything that’ll set us backward.”

“I don’t,” I admit. “You want the White House, and I want to help make that dream come true for you.”

“What do you think about that?” he asks a question we’ve discussed only a handful of times in the past.

“If you want it, then I want it for you.”

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