Page 157 of Merciless Desires

“I couldn’t sleep.” She shrugs, still in her pajamas. “Can I watch my video?”

Darragh exhales, battling good parenting with keeping everything in the house calm and peaceful. “Okay. Honey, come here.” Darragh sits on one of the kitchen chairs and pulls Sophie toward him. “Ana is going to take care of you for a while. She’s going to put you on the bus and take you off. If she’s not there—”

“I’ll be there.” I glance at the yellow pad and see he listed the bus schedule times at the top. It would be nice if an infant came with a set of meticulous instructions like this.

“Of course you will.”

“Sophie, what do you want for breakfast?” I ask.

“Can I have pancakes again?”

“That’s not an everyday breakfast,” Darragh squashes that. “Sophie, go in the pantry and pick out your cereal.”

“Not yet, I’m not hungry.” She yawns and disappears into the den that is mostly a playroom for her.

“Does she dress herself?”

“Yes,” Darragh says, and then frowns. “Olivia helps pick out her clothes, I think. Just to be sure, hover over her today.”

“Will do.” I finish my tea. “And dinner?”

“I’ll take care of dinner.”

“You’re working all day.”

“So are you.”

“Not really. And besides, I like cooking. I told you that.”

“Fine. You cook dinner.”

“Fine.” I move close to him. “She saw you kiss me.”

“Then obviously forgot about it.” He checks his phone. “Our whole routine is off. That’s probably why she woke up early. If she stays on schedule today, she’ll get back on track and wake up normal time tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I try not to panic again because he’s leaving. Leaving me alone with Sophie. He’s trusting me with her. I can’t let him down.

After kissing Sophie goodbye, Darragh passes me, sneaking a kiss. He smirks at me over his shoulder, leaving through the garage door.

Sophie is in her own world, lying down on the sofa, an arm dangling while she sings to the movie.

I make another cup of tea and creep into the den. “Can I watch the video with you?”

“Sure.” She snaps up and makes room for me to sit next to her, then puts her feet into my lap.

This is going to be my life when the baby is born and… I like it.

The week goes by smoothly, and Darragh brings me to his attic where he keeps all of Sophie’s baby stuff. Only, it’s mostly pink and yellow. I tried to argue it didn’t matter, but he’s a man, and when he said it mattered, I let it go.

Sophie’s crib is dark mahogany, and I insisted he didn’t need to buy another one.

On Friday night, he takes me shopping for the baby. “Most women have a baby shower,” he says, sounding upset for me.

“Who would throw me one? I don’t have any friends.” I’m more upset that I’ll miss Katya’s baby shower, that I can’t be there for her.

We decide the fourth bedroom, another guestroom, will get cleaned out this weekend for the nursery. A new white bassinet and changing station that he’s buying will go in my room.

I used to love shopping, but now it’s overwhelming and exhausting.

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