Page 2 of A Fool For Her Mates

“Hello and welcome to SuperMart. I’m afraid you can’t come in her without shirts.” I look down and notice they’re not wearing shoes. “And you need shoes.”

They stare at me blankly for a full minute. I kid you not. They’re just frozen, looking like they have no idea where they are and what to do. Then they turn to each other and begin whispering furiously. Every so often, one of them points to me or their feet. The taller one’s face is scrunched up like he’s unhappy. The shorter one looks like he’s trying to calm the taller one, and he points at me again. Finally, they both nod and take a step towards me.

“Can you help us with shirts and shoes?” the shorter one asks. He seems genuinely lost. I wonder if they’re foreign exchange students who got duped into this prank. Normally I would say no, but something in his look tells me he really needs help. Maybe it’s me who’s the gullible one, because the words seem to slip from my lips before I can stop them.

“Sure. My name is Fancy. Come with me.”

Chapter 2: V’Lin

Fancy! It is a beautiful name for a beautiful creature. Fancy. I test the words on my lips. Yes. I it is a good name. A fine and noble name. I have never seen a human before and of course never has my partner, H’Row. But we agree Fancy must be a very important human to rule over such a great store of goods.

She is of the same shape as the females of our species, but smaller. It’s hard not to stare at her and the rest of the humans that surround us. They are so small and hairy compared to our people, and each of them is colored like the earth. Fancy’s hair is dark like volcanic ash and her skin is the color of lightly toasted nuts.

Beautiful Fancy, the ruler of this domain, and likely the only human who can help us fix our equipment and go home. We are very lucky to have found her. From the little bit of research we were able to do before we crashed, not all humans are so kind and benevolent.

Thank the stars, our translation chips work here. The human language is compatible with our technology, so we are able to understand and communicate with them. But their foreign words still feel strange on our lips, and it takes an extra moment to understand what everyone is saying.

Fancy seems very intent on dressing us correctly, perhaps for ceremonial purposes. But after that, we hope she will help us repair the travel pod’s energy converter that broke when we landed. We need to get off this planet and through the nearest spacegate before it closes in approximately 35 hours. If not, we could be stuck here indefinitely.

The very real possibility of never seeing our families and homeland again is an agonizing prospect. Not to mention that H’Row and I would miss our official mating ceremony, which is scheduled in a few months.

I’m trying not to think too much about all this, but I can tell these worries weigh heavily on H’Row. Not to mention the fact that our ship is out in the woods unguarded and that we’re wandering around here like bright blue beacons, and not blending with the local population at all. The humans are giving us curious looks, but not as many as I would have expected. Maybe strange visitors aren’t unusual on this part of the planet.

Our comms buzz, indicating that an intruder is close to our ship. Both of us immediately check our screens to see that it is a small reptile. We look up at each other and share a moment of relief.

Before we got here, I set up a security array around our ship and sensors around this building. It’s possible some of those less-friendly humans may come hunting for us with weapons we can’t easily evade. It’s yet another concern to mix in with the rest.

I sense the elevation of H’Row’s heartbeat and smell the scent of his fear. This will not do. I place a hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. He smiles back at me gratefully. We are a team and we’ll face whatever comes together.

***

Fancy has chosen special garments for us to wear. We did not like the feel of the “cotton” shirt she tried to give us, but the black “rash guard” felt acceptable on our skin. Then she insisted we wear coverings on our feet called “flip-flops,” which I can only assume are designed to keep us from running too quickly. We also have special accessories for eyes that lessen the glare. Fancy thinks of everything.

She leads us to the front of the building and asks if we have money or an ID. I believe she means credit and identity profiles, so I show her mine on my comm. She looks carefully at the device and shakes her head.

“I guess I’m paying,” she sighs. “What’s this language?”

I’m about to explain when I remember our captain’s warning not to tell the humans about our origins. When it comes to first contact with a new society there are rules to follow. Only specially trained ambassadors should attempt a first contact. H’Row and are completely unqualified—in fact, we’ve been told numerous times to keep our mouths closed in dicey situations.

I get it. We’re a couple of uneducated bodyguards from a fringe water planet. Not exactly the people you call when a delicate negotiation is needed. Now, if you need some muscle, we’re perfect for the job. Oh stars. Fancy is asking us something.

“Can you at least tell me your names?”

“I am V’Lin, and this is H’Row.” I say and bow my head, as this is our official introduction.

“Wait. Your names are Villain and Hero? That’s what you’re going with? Ugh.” She rolls her eyes.

“No. I am V’Lin” I say slowly, “and he is H’Row. Are our names displeasing to you?” I feel H’Row’s worry start to spike again.

“No, it’s just. Damn. I can’t believe I’m playing along with this. Okay V’Lin. Let’s get you guys your clothes.”

She walks us to the “cash register” and hands us our new garments. H’Row clutches the bag to his chest like he has been given a war prize. Stars above, I believe he may be smitten. Fancy pretends not to notice, but I think she does, because her cheeks turn pink, then she turns away. I elbow him in the ribs.

“She has noticed you staring. You must stop,” I whisper to my partner.

“It’s hard not to stare. Do you not agree?” I nod in response. “Have you noticed the elegance of her stance? Her regal stature? She would make an ideal mate. If only she was not human.”

“Yes. But she is human, and we must leave this place, and her as soon as we can.” I pat his shoulder. “Let us put on the clothing she gave us, as is her wish.” I grab one of the rash guards and slide on. It says, “Hang Ten.” My translation chip cannot decode this statement. I am sure it is something noble. H’Row’s rash guard says, “Florida Man,” and this one I understand because we are in the part of Earth called Florida. Fancy is helping us blend in. But I think our skin color is making it a little difficult.

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