Page 3 of A Fool For Her Mates

I rip the tie off the flip-flops and put them on as well. H’Row does the same. I look over at Fancy and see she is watching us very carefully. But once she notices my gaze, she turns away and starts walking towards the entrance.

I poke H’Row and we move to catch up with her. It is not an easy task in the flip-flops. I feel my heart rate pick up. Does she plan to leave us now that we are properly attired? We still need her. I start walking faster but nearly fall because of the cursed shoes.

“Fancy!” I call and she turns around quickly. Perhaps my voice was too loud. She looks worried. “Apologies. We have additional needs to discuss with you.” Her expression shutters. “You have been a wonderful host. But we need help to repair our transportation unit.

Chapter 3: Fancy

Damn. When I was buying them the clothes, I had almost forgotten the whole alien thing even though they’re still painted blue. But they’re sticking with the alien shtick. Alright.

I look at them chatting quietly with each other and I can’t shake the feeling that if I tossed them out of here, they’d be wandering the streets like two (enormous) lost puppies. But what am I supposed to do now?

They say they want to “fix their transportation unit.” I’m wondering what asinine wild goose chase they’ve got in mind. Will they say they need a nuclear reactor? Some plutonium? I’ve seen this show before. Are they going to drag me to the woods to perform experiments? Gag! I wish they would just tell me what’s happening. Or are they delusional?

None of it makes sense. They could fall in a ditch and get eaten by gators. Or they could be planning to kidnap me or some other unfortunate sucker. Who am I kidding? I’m the biggest sucker of them all. I clear my throat and they turn in unison to look at me. I’m already out $30 and my lunch break. They’re watching me with an almost desperate hope in their eyes. Yep. I continue to suck.

“What do you need to fix your, uh, unit?” I ask, the voice inside my head is yelling at me now.

“One of these,” V’Lin says and shows me an image on his funky looking phone.

I have no clue what it is. It’s like a silver box with wires. Inspiration strikes. Miranda! She works in hardware and automotive. I lead them over to that section and find Miranda loading wiper fluid on the shelves.

“Hey Miranda,” I call to her.

“Hey, Fancy—whoa. Who’ve you got there?” I can tell the moment she spots the dudes. Yeah, they are… something.

“This is V’Lin and H’Row and they need a replacement part for their, uh, vehicle. This is what they need.” I motion at V’Lin to show Miranda the picture. She squints at it, then looks back at V’Lin.

“Is that, like, a car battery?” she asks. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

I can only imagine what kind of oddball vehicle these oddball people are driving, but very little will surprise me at this point.

“It is a battery, yes. Perhaps we can obtain one of these ‘car batteries’ and see if it will work in our transportation unit,” V’Lin suggests.

“What did you say?” Miranda squeaks.

“Our transportation unit needs a battery,” V’Lin says it very slowly now, as if talking to a child. “So, we can go home.” V’Lin is still dead-ass serious. Like, you would really believe him if it wasn’t so ridiculous.

“Cool, cool, cool. Fancy, can I talk to you for a sec?” Miranda grabs my arm and tows me behind a stack of tires. “What the fuck, Fancy?”

“I know. Believe me, I know it’s nuts. They’re nuts. But great body paint, am I right?” I smile and Miranda frowns at me. “But really, I think these crackpots need some help. They probably stalled out somewhere on the edge of town and are delirious from the heat. I don’t know. I just want to help them get what they need and go home.”

“No offense, but it’s not like you to do this kind of thing.” Miranda is watching me closely, like the nuttiness might be catching.

“I know! It’s weird, I just feel like I need to help them. Like they really need me. I know it’s bonkers,” I mumble.

“Maybe it’s some alien mind control,” she jokes.

“No. I just feel sorry for them.”

“And the fact that they’re hot had no effect on your decision?” She bumps my shoulder.

“No! I mean, that’s beside the point. I had barely noticed,” I lie.

“Sure, thing Fancy. You definitely need to come out with us tonight. Go screw a nice, regular, human, so you can start thinking straight.” She squeezes my arm.

“Okay, I’ll come. Can you get them the battery?” I can hardly believe that I actually care.

“Yeah. I’ll go grab one and bring it up front. But you’re paying.” She grins at me.

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