Page 46 of A Lesson In Beginning

“I am more than happy to discuss hands-on education.” His eyes slid down from my gaze for a brief moment, but it told me exactly what I needed to know. I was not the only one sensing this strange ember of attraction that seemed to glow between us.

“So, um… where do we begin?” Thankfully, he accepted my somewhat lame attempt at course correction, though his hand did not leave mine. Not that I minded.

“Are there certain aspects you’d like to focus on with this hands-on education? Or, if that’s a hard question to answer, are there areas you know you do not wish to focus on?” I mulled over my words for a moment, realizing that I needed to better prepare my responses if I wanted to keep from looking like a complete fool.

“I want to start slow. I think that would be best for me.”

“Of course.”

“And there are things I’ve seen at The Temple that I do not wish to partake in.”

“I’d like to hear those things, please.”

“I think it would be a shorter conversation if I just told you what I was interested in.” I laughed my comment off, but his serious gaze was unabating.

“Still, if there are points that you know you have no interest in, those are just as, if not more important, than the things you do wish to experience. I know it’s not easy to discuss, but please help me understand you completely. It’s the one thing that matters most to me.” His blatant sincerity, a stark contrast to the only life I knew, was fair weightier, far more meaningful than he could have possibly known.

“I don’t think I could handle the deep things.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean the harsh control. The kind I saw on my first night. The blind obedience, waiting on him hand and foot, the kneeling, that kind of thing. I just am unsure if I could ever subject myself to that. It’s too similar to the life I had before. And that isn’t a life I ever want to go back to, no matter how hard this new life may be.”

“I feel like that’s a big statement.” The way he seemed to pick up on the small intricacies of my demeanor was slightly unnerving, and yet utterly comforting all at once.

“It is. One I haven’t spoken aloud before, now that I think about it.”

“Let’s sit with that for just a minute. You don’t want to go back to the life you had. So, what is it that Adah Price wants in this new life?”

“Gah… um… well, that’s a very big question.”

“All the best ones are.”

“Now who’s being sassy?”

“Shush, and answer the question.”

“How, pray tell, does one shush and simultaneously answer a question exactly, Joel Whitlock?” I shot him a look containing every ounce of attitude I could muster. Not that it was very much, with him looking at me the way he was.

“You make me want to do very bad things when you sass like that.” I bit my lip at his words, the spark of mischievousness coming alive under his heated gaze.

“Bad things?”

“Yes, gloriously, deliciously bad things.” The look in his eyes, one I had never seen before, shot past all those fluttering butterflies and straight to my core, where my arousal was now refusing to be ignored a moment longer.

“What kind of bad things?”

“That’s a question best suited for later in the conversation. Now, will you please answer the question?”

“I may have forgotten the question.” I was toying with him, true, but it was just so delightful, the way his eyes lit up at my small moments of sass and teasing wit.

“What is it that Adah Price wants in her new life?”

“Oh, right. Well, I suppose I’d like to obtain a more… personal comprehension of the scene we watched together.” I looked down at my hands on the table, unable to meet his gaze as I said the words that felt impossible to say.

“What makes you nervous?”

“I don’t know.” It wasn’t the truth. I knew exactly what made me nervous, not that I was about to tell him that.

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