Page 42 of A Lesson In Beginning

“Uncle Zeke! You’re here!!”

“What’s up, little man? How’s my favorite nephew?” I walked down the stairs to join them, watching as my son lifted his arms up to Zeke, hands clenching and unclenching, requesting silently to be picked up. Before I could think to correct his behavior, Zeke lifted him up with one arm, holding up his fist to bump knuckles — Samuel’s new favorite little game with his uncle. Truth be told, he had started to bond with all of Levi’s brothers, even the surly Malachi, not that we saw much of him. He and Eden were a solitary pair. Ruth had explained that Malachi was still healing from the traumas he had faced in the last days of Zion. Still, even he had bonded with my son the few times he and Eden had come around for dinner.

“You’re a saint, Zeke!” Ruth panted out, a diaper bag slung over her shoulder as she carried little Theo down the hall toward us.

“Are you kidding? You guys are saving my ass!” The sound of Zeke’s laughter echoed slightly in the hallway.

“You’re literally taking on two extra children, one of which is basically still an infant. How is that saving your ass?” Levi arched a brow at his brother’s confusing words.

“Simple. Having Samuel around keeps my girls occupied, while having Theo gives Talia a quick fix for her baby fever that does not include bringing another Temple baby into this world. I am not prepared for three small children running around underfoot. Not today, at the very least.” The sheer look of terror written on his face at the idea of three children was hysterical. I covered my mouth with my hand, hoping to stifle my laughter slightly, though it did not work at all. He shot me a knowing look of faux consternation.

“Well, I suppose that’s one way to look at it. Though I have a feeling Talia is going to wear you down one of these days, and you’ll be announcing baby number three not long after.” Ruth winked at him, handing over Theo, whom Levi had just placed in his car seat. The tiny child cooed and babbled, chewing on his fists and making trilling laughter sounds at the adult who hovered over him.

“On that horrifying note, I am off with the kiddos! We’ll see you all later tonight for dinner?” We each thanked him for giving us a reprieve of parenting responsibilities for an afternoon, and he left directly after.

“Alright, what’s on the docket for you lovely ladies today?” Levi rubbed his hands together with obvious excitement at the prospect of a quiet afternoon.

“I am going to finish going over the materials for my next class with Talia. We had such a good turnout over the past weeks, and I want to make sure it’s perfect.” Ruth’s eyes nearly danced with excitement. I knew how happy she and Talia had both been with how their Submission 101 class had gone, and it had only grown since that first week in attendance.

“What about you, Adah?” Levi turned to me, the weight of both of their gazes settling over me like lead.

“I was actually hoping I could speak with both of you for a moment.” Nerves swelled up like fluttering butterflies in my stomach, but I shoved the feeling aside, knowing how important this conversation was. “Perhaps longer than a moment, if I am being honest.”

“Is everything alright?” The worry on Ruth’s face was instantly mirrored on Levi’s, and I jumped in quickly to ease their concern.

“Everything is fine. You both have offered to answer any questions I may have. I find myself in search of answers, so I’d like to sit and talk, if you’re both willing. I thought it might be an advantageous time with the children gone.”

“I think that now would be a perfect time. Would you like to sit at the table, or perhaps the office?” Levi offered kindly.

“Maybe the living room would be more comfortable. Or maybe —”

“I think the table would be just fine. Plus, I could use a cup of coffee after this morning. Samuel was in a bit of a mood, and caffeine would do me a world of good.” I quickly stopped Ruth’s continued line of suggestions on where to talk. It didn’t matter where we spoke. I only wanted answers to the questions that had arisen after Joel’s offer.

In short order, the three of us were sitting at the table, coffee mugs filled and in hand. There was a silence as we all sipped on the much needed caffeine. I was more than happy for the momentary reprieve. I had gone over what I wanted to ask several times in my mind, spending a large majority of the night tossing and turning, trying to make sense of it all. Still, a moment to gather my thoughts was more than welcome.

“There are many things about the kink world that I do not fully understand, but the more time I have spent working at The Temple, the more I have found myself growing curious. I had thought to come to you both with my questions, seeking to understand.” I began, both of them staring at me intently.

“And we love that you’ve come to us, Adah. It’s important to have a safe place to ask questions and learn. Trust me, I know how overwhelming it can be.” Ruth’s honesty was kind, but it was not the direction I was hoping to take the conversation.

“When I first discovered the BDSM community, it was shocking and overwhelming. I was alone with no one to talk to and because of that, my education was slow to start and not entirely safe. I was lucky enough to find a mentor early on, but not everyone is so lucky.” Levi’s admission surprised me, but I realized that the surprise of it all was becoming my new normal.

“As much as I want to come to you both with all of my questions, the simple truth of the matter is that I cannot.” I braced myself for the reaction I knew would come. Levi remained stoic and poised as ever. Ruth, on the other hand, reacted exactly as I had thought she would. Her brow furrowed for a moment, her eyes widening in a look that straddled the line between confusion and dismay at being denied the chance to help me with this sordid type of education.

“Have we made you feel uncomfortable in some way, Adah? I promise you that you are safe to ask us anything. Anything at all! And we are happy to —”

“I know you are, Ruth.” Rushing to assuage her feelings, I cut her words off. “It is not a matter of your willingness, but it is a matter of comfortability. Or, rather, a lack thereof. It is not because I do not trust the both of you implicitly. I do. If I did not, I would not be coming to you both now with such candor.”

“If you just trust us, I promise you we can help you.” Ruth’s urging only frustrated me further, but before I could speak, Levi interjected.

“Ruth, you aren’t listening to what your sister is saying. I know you want to help, but listen first.” I watched as Ruth’s back straightened. Levi made a motion with his hand; a motion I likely would have overlooked prior to my time spent at The Temple surrounded by Dominants and submissives in a variety of dynamics.

As soon as he made the gesture, Ruth took a slow, deep breath, calming herself into a more regulated sense of emotion.

“Adah has stated that she does, in fact, trust us. But please, hear her out before jumping to conclusions.” Levi’s words were final, though I still found it oddly jarring to hear a husband speak firmly to his wife without the underlying malice I was so accustomed to. “Adah, please continue.”

“I am uncomfortable discussing such intimate things with you, only because you are my sister and my brother-in-law. Over the past few weeks, Joel has taken me out into the main area of The Temple, and I realized that one of the key differences in my reaction to it was the fact that I was not with you. I trust you both implicitly, but it is a little too uncomfortable and intimate of a thing to share with my sister. At least at this time and in this way.”

“That makes sense. Have you felt comfortable with Joel? Have you been able to speak with him about your thoughts?” He regarded me with an interest that pleased me. He was protective to a fault, and the fact that he extended that regard to me, even after our history, meant more than I could express.

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