Page 46 of Retribution

“She… fuck,” the frustration in his tone is evident. My mind is running at a million miles an hour, every thought, every wonder crosses my mind.

“She came to us seeking out full custody of Willow as well as a restraining order against you.”

Explosions. Confusion. Tsunamis. Anger. Hurricanes.

My entire concept of my life has been thrown into a wind tunnel and shook around until very few parts of it remain.

It feels like my mind is a minefield, each step I take triggering unexpected, unwarranted feelings.

There is no correlation between what Harrison has just said and the memories I am sprinting through in my mind. Each one, blowing my consciousness to smithereens. I can barely breath, let alone speak.

I say the only thing my mind can comprehend right now.

“What?” I blink. And blink.

Harrison goes on to explain how around five weeks before the accident, Allie had sought him out regarding her grounds on seeking custody. It came as a huge shock to him; he hadn’t realized we were in any sort of situation that would regard such a knowledge. He had organized to meet up with her a few days after their first phone call, insisting that this sort of topic should be discussed more thoroughly and in person.

They met for lunch, he took down notes about the case which he said he would scan and forward to me over email.

Apparently, Allie wanted to know her legalities of obtaining full custody of Lo, without a divorce. Then with a divorce. Then with a restraining order.

I was taken aback that I hadn’t known that this meeting had taken place, but I was none the wiser whilst I was striving for named partner. I threw my heart and soul into my career and hadn’t realized I was dragging my family alongside me.

I always wanted to be better than my father had been, I thought I was doing everything I should be by creating a better future for us, providing for my family so they could have anything they wanted. With the news of the divorce, with this new information it turns out I was incredibly wrong.

I asked for more information about why she thought she could obtain a restraining order on me, without any grounds for such.

I edge my way to the alcohol cabinet, looking for something to stabilize my blood pressure, something to numb the sickening feeling twisting in my gut.

I grab the vodka and screw off the top, taking a swig.

I eradicated the use for a glass a few nights ago, it didn’t matter anymore.

“Well… I mean, it is innocent until proven guilty, Reed, and she’s no longer around to argue that.”

I set down the bottle shakily and grip hold of the phone tightly.

“Don’t you dare.” I spit at him.

Lawyers are known to be ruthless, but the wounds are disgustingly fresh, and he has no clue about anything that me and Allie have been through.

“Shit, no. That came out wrong, I’m sorry. All I meant is– fuck. Reed, I’m your brother, okay? You know I’ve got your back no matter what. I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I should have, but I really mean it. Anything you did, it’s now in the past, she can’t take you down for it.”

My thoughts whirl around in my head, processing the words.

“Down for what? What are you talking about?” I rub my hands across my overgrown stubble tightly, my heart thundering.

The pressure in my ears almost makes the next part inaudible, I’m floundering underwater.

“Nothing really, she just… said some things.”

I slowly raise my eyes to the blank wall in front of me, the candlelight flickering, reflecting shadows dancing across the ceiling. My senses heighten immediately, I can smell the lemon zest of the bleach used to clean the kitchen, the cinnamon of the candle burning, the lavender spray across pillows of the sofa I’m currently perched on.

Sweat beads down my back.

My mouth is sandpaper.

The deafening sound of silence.

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