Page 47 of Retribution

Everything is closing in on me.

I loosen my tie from my neck, unbuttoning the top three buttons of my shirt.

I close my eyes to try and limit the overload my body is experiencing.

“Like I said, Harrison, what the fuck are you talking about?” I grit through my teeth.

“Honestly, it isn’t my place to tell you what’s right and wrong. I know you’ve been through a lot.” He sighs.

“I have never fucking laid my hands on her, not once.” I hiss, trying to deflect in case he’s talking about what I think he’s talking about.

“Fuck, Reed, that’s not what I said. Anyway, this, is meant to be about Willow now. Whatever Allie has said is irrelevant.”

“Of course this is fucking relevant! What if she was spouting this bullshit to other people? Oh my God. This is why they want custody isn’t it, they think I’d hurt Willow,” my voice trails off into nothing.

My fingertips caress my lips as I shake my head over and over, my mind running wild.

I grab the bottle and chug.

This choking feeling needs to stop, I need to add a restraint to my emotions. The alcohol needs to grab every single feeling of mine and drown it, encase it and destroy it. Something needs to give.

“Reed, are you seeing anyone?” His question startles me out of the abyss, the obvious change of topic screams suspicion.

“No, why?”

“I just had an idea, never mind.” He finishes.

“What idea? What does that have to do with anything?” Genuine curiosity overwhelms me.

“I mean it’s nothing really, it’s just… if you had a partner, it really could strengthen your case. And before you ask, no it can’t be a fling. I mean someone who could be a role model, someone who is a motherly figure, and of course, a clean record.”

A partner. What would that prove?

Almost as if he heard my confusion, he continues.

“Having someone who could add a character statement about you as a person, as a partner would help to diminish any sort of comment about abuse. It would add to your profile and prove that you have the resources to provide a stable upbringing for Willow. Someone who can… attempt to fill the void.”

I mean, it makes sense.

It makes complete sense. It is incredibly hard enough as it is for fathers to gain rights to their child, it would be a positive addition to have a stable relationship. They could also help out with the childcare issue, I could also see if there was anything I can to do reduce my hours at work, at a push, but not likely.

But, who?

I would need someone who wouldn’t be a stranger to Willow, someone who would be able to make Willow feel comfortable, and they would be willing to take her on as their own. I can’t risk finding some random girl and putting my entire world into her hands, for her to fumble and drop it, smashing my already fragile future into thousands of pieces.

I put the bottle of vodka back on the shelf and press the phone to my ear.

The fireworks of ideas running through my head right now are showering my mind with every possibility of keeping Willow.

Indie.

The thoughts have filled me with a foreign feeling, a warm feeling.

A feeling of… hope.

Chapter 14

Indie

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