Page 15 of Fiendish Ways

No response came.

Cree shot from the bed and turned on the lights. The place felt devoid of life and joy. Then he heard King’s voice outside and rage filled him. If they were together again, they were both dead. He snatched up his pants and jerked them on before grabbing his gun. Cree stuffed it in the back of his pants as he yanked open the door.

Angel and King froze. Nebraska was nowhere in sight.

Cree sprang. “You motherfucker. What have you done with Nebraska?”

Cree’s back hit the wall so hard and fast, his head bounced, and stars popped in the corners of his eyes. King’s thick forearm leaned on Cree’s windpipe, cutting off his air. His eyes flashed like a man who had passed insanity.

“Don’t come at me unless you’re prepared to reap the consequences. I’m not the hundred-and-twenty-pound twink that you toss around and bully.”

“You’re dead.” The words sounded hoarse under the pressure of being choked.

King snorted. “Insanity trumps anger every fucking time and I’m a crazy motherfucker who can’t wait to take you apart. What kind of son of a bitch harms the man who loves him more than life only because he was trying to be a good friend? As far as I’m concerned, you’re better off dead.”

“Break it up. What the fuck is going on up here?”

King didn’t back away immediately at Archer’s shout. He held Cree’s stare. His expression screamed Cree had better not sleep or he would get his throat slit. Finally, he backed away.

His gaze never wavered from Cree. “Ask this bastard. He’s the one who thinks he has all the answers and enjoys breaking boys.”

Cree couldn’t breathe and it had nothing to do with King nearly choking him to death. Something clicked. He turned away and headed for his room.

Archer grabbed his shoulder. “Hold up. We’re not finished here.”

Cree pulled the gun from his waistband. He had it held to Archer’s temple before he knew what he had done. “Go away from me.”

Archer held his stare. He didn’t look scared. “Pull the trigger, then.”

Fucking bastard. Cree lowered the gun and headed inside his room. He slammed the door closed and locked it behind him. Cree couldn’t talk to anyone. He couldn’t have anyone looking at him. The pieces of his shattered heart felt like they rattled inside his chest.

Too late, Cree realized he might be wrong. There was something about the way King looked at him. Cree had seen that craziness in the mirror. It was helpless rage in a situation out of their control.

Then there was the blood. There had been so much blood after he fucked Nebraska. He feared he might have done some internal damage. Nebraska was somewhere either hiding from him or being kept safe from him. Probably both. Cree shook uncontrollably. He fought the urge to put the gun to his head. Too many times, he had almost lost this battle. The gun rose. The cold barrel pressed against his temple. Everything he owned would become Nebraska’s and everyone would be better for it. His gaze focused on something on the floor. It was one of Nebraska’s gifts. His knees gave out. Cree’s back slid down the door until he landed with a thump on his ass. Everything was gone. It was his fault. Nothing would ever be the same.

Chapter Eight

Weeks passed. The silence and solitude of the cabin allowed an ounce of peace to settle into Nebraska’s soul. He spent his days digging through all the amazing items inside the cabin. There was a ton of stuff obviously from other countries. Nebraska searched some pieces online so he could read the lore behind them. He realized how big the world was and how little he had seen.

Archer had stopped by a few times, asking for help with odd online jobs. Nebraska always helped. Money showed up in his account afterward. They never talked about Cree. The first time he had come, Nebraska had nearly broken down again. But Archer came and went with no open judgment and Cree never showed up at his door afterward. Eventually, he accepted Archer kept his secret. He had suffered his first Crohn’s flareup all alone since meeting Cree. Thankfully, Angel had shown him how to get his meds delivered. There was that. He felt like a real adult now.

Oddly, Nebraska hadn’t thought about Cree day and night like he expected. He had expected the loss to gnaw a hole in his gut. Instead, his mind always shied away from the memories, as if protecting itself. The worst was Christmas. Another holiday came and went in silence. He lost another calendar year to emptiness.

Archer and Angel were the only ones who came around. Archer came with work. Angel brought food, toiletries, and clothing. Neither ever stayed long. Conversation was stilted, and Nebraska preferred the silence. The silence didn’t see him. He was too broken for anyone else.

Several times, he had pulled out Angel’s phone and thought about texting King. Then he would see King’s name and go cold. It wasn’t King’s fault. Nebraska hoped he was okay, but still, Nebraska had nothing to give. He didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice. Reality hurt too much.

Smoke billowed around Cree’s head. It was so cold, he could see his breath. Yet Cree didn’t move from his spot on the deck. Everywhere he looked, he still saw Nebraska. Yet he couldn’t stop gravitating toward the places where they spent most of their time. They had made love that first time on this lounge. Things had been beautiful then. Cree hadn’t yet let the past ruin his future. There were so many things he should have told Nebraska. His actions still wouldn’t be forgiven, but maybe Nebraska could find some peace in knowing Cree was just a hopeless head case. Irredeemable. Too fucked up to love him right.

He no longer spoke to anyone. Archer had hired a few new men. Cree imagined it was only a matter of time before he was taken into the woods and put down like a rabid dog. He welcomed the day. Until then, he got high and went over every second of the last year of his life and put a mental pin in all the places he had failed.

Cree knew where Nebraska was. He had followed Angel one day when he saw him loading groceries into his truck. Journey’s old cabin was the perfect spot for him. He deserved the peace. Cree wouldn’t darken his door. There was no forgiving his actions. Nebraska had loved him beautifully. Cree had taken a sledgehammer to all that flawlessness. He now lived the life he deserved.

“I’m not sure how freezing to death solves anything.”

Cree’s gaze moved King’s way and then skirted away. They had nothing to say to each other. “Nothing to fix, is there?”

“Whatever. Fucking dumbass.” King headed back inside, leaving Cree alone with his thoughts once more.

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