Page 42 of Her Second Chance

Chapter 19

Hannah

My paintbrush dances across the canvas, slowly revealing the man who has captured all my attention. I can't stop thinking about Brock. As I step back, his brown eyes stare intently into mine. I'm not supposed to feel this way about him. After several minutes, I take the can of red paint and splash it onto the canvas covering most of Brock's face, needing a reprieve from his searing look.

My professor comes to stand by my side with his eyes open wide. “Having a bad day?”

I toss my paintbrush onto the stool next to me with a sigh. "I think I'm done for the day." I stand, gathering my things.

As I leave, I say goodbye to my classmates. They all watch me with wide eyes because usually I'm the last to leave. My creativity has been overflowing since coming back to this time in my life. I’ve never painted so much in my life. With each finished work, I feel like I’m left with clues about what happened to bring me back here, but I can’t seem to piece them together to form the big picture.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts as I leave the art building that I don't notice Brock until I walk into his chest. He grips my arms to keep me from falling backward. This seems to be a common greeting for us. Me running headfirst into him while he reaches out and saves me.

"So, you are still alive," he says with a frown, telling me he knows I’ve been avoiding him.

I chew on my lower lip, unable to look up at him. "I'm sorry I just left like that."

"Why did you leave, Hannah?" He doesn’t try to mask his hurt, instead he displays it for me to see. There’s something so raw about his emotions. I think he’s talking about more than me just sneaking out of his bedroom.

"I don't know. I just woke up and started thinking." I bite my lip, trying to keep the truth from spilling out. I’m terrified I’ll wake up in my future, and he’ll be gone. I think that’s why I’m resisting him so much.

"I can’t keep doing this with you. Every time I think we make progress, you sneak out in the middle of the night, leaving me more confused than ever."

"I can't explain it, Brock, but when I'm with you, I forget why I'm here. I need to remember that Jason is the reason I woke up in my past. It’s important I remember that." I don’t mean for me to be with him. That was wrong. It’s something else. But what?

"Enough with the bullshit excuse, Hannah. You can't keep dragging me along like this. It’s killing me." He pins me with a glare.

I stare at him so long he blurs into the background. It’s like he flickers in and out of my plane of vision. I have to fix this. My time here is slipping through my fingers.

I reach out, taking his hand in mine and holding it to my chest. "I promise I'm not trying to make this difficult for either of us. I just don't know what to do." I look down, closing my eyes so I don’t have to see how much I’m hurting him, how much I’m hurting us both.

Brock tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at him. "Shit, Hannah, I'm not trying to upset you. I just want things to go back to normal. I want our life back."

"I don't even know what that means."

In true Brock fashion, he softens, not wanting me upset. "I'm sorry to put this kind of pressure on you. I just want you in my life. We can go as slowly as you need. If you want me, I’ll wait forever if I have to."

I swallow hard. "Thank you," I whisper. Not wanting to keep talking about where we stand, I shift gears. "Are you ready for Saturday?"

If my abrupt change of subject surprises him, he doesn’t let on. "I don't know. There's a lot of pressure riding on me to get us into the playoffs." He shrugs his shoulders with both hands in his pocket, making him look like a little boy.

"You're going to take us all the way to the national championship this year. Trust me."

He grins. “I love how you seem to really believe that, how you believe in me.”

My heart flutters against my sternum, and I know I’m about to do something stupid, like kiss him senseless right here in front of the student union if I don’t remove myself from his presence. "I should go," I tell him.

"Is it time for me to let you go?" His voice is wrought with grief, and I hate myself for causing his despair. I know what he’s really asking. Do you ever want to be with me?

"I don't know," I whisper, turning to go before he can see my tears. Despite his words cutting like a knife through my heart, I think it might be time. I can’t stay in this place much longer. I don’t know how I know this, but I know without a shadow of a doubt it’s true.

My time here is almost finished.

Chapter 20

Hannah

Needing to get my mind off the lingering ache Brock’s disappointment left me with, I go to the coffee shop in the dorms. I figure sipping coffee in a dark smoky room will help me process my thoughts. I wanted to tell him I love him, but I can’t do that. Not now that I know my time here is almost up. That’s not fair to him. To us.

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