Page 41 of Her Second Chance

“What if,” she holds up a hand when I open my mouth to interrupt, “hear me out. What if you came back for Brock, not Jason?”

“As much as I want that to be true, I don’t think it is. For whatever reason, I know Jason is the reason I’m here.”

She sighs. “I guess we’ll have to figure this out over penny beers.”

I laugh at her suggestion to cure my confusion. “Give me fifteen minutes,” I say, gathering my robe and shower caddy.

“You’ve got ten. Otherwise, I leave without you.” Her threat is idle, but I kick into high gear, not wanting to keep her waiting too long.

* * *

Half an hour later, we’re seated with several of our sorority sisters around a couple of high-tops at The Wormy Dog. Certain days of the week, they have discounted drinks. This afternoon is a crowd favorite, penny beers. You pay a $5 cover charge and then every beer you drink is only a penny. It’s a must for poor college kids.

The bar is filled with most of the Greek community. I’d forgotten how everyone got along so well, and there weren’t big rivalries between houses like there are at some other universities. Here, everyone parties together, both Greek and non-Greek. Life was so easy when I went to school here. Maybe that’s why I woke up in this time of my past. I needed a simpler stage of life for a while.

By my third beer, I’ve relaxed enough to enjoy myself without obsessing over Brock, Jason, or my future. Surprisingly, Hunter hasn’t played much of a role in this venture into my past. Luckily, neither Brock nor Hunter is with the group of Sig Chi’s surrounding the pool tables.

I’m lost in conversation with Gayle when a tap on my shoulder startles me, causing me to levitate from the barstool beneath me, spilling my beer into my lap in the process. Well, shit.

“Can we talk?” Jason’s deep voice rumbles in my ear, sending chills down my spine and not the good ones like Brock’s does.

Grace raises her eyebrows, silently asking if I need her to get rid of him. I have no doubt she’d jump him in a heartbeat if I asked.

I shake my head no, then turn on my stool to face Jason. “How did you find me?”

He points to a corner where Griffin stands with his girlfriend. Both wave when they see me. I smile and nod, hoping I look friendlier than I feel right now. My mind is on high alert. He’s beginning to feel like the enemy.

“Let’s go outside.”

I tell Grace I’ll be back, then walk to the door. I don’t want to make a scene and have gossip get back to Brock. It would upset him if he thought I went from sleeping with him to meeting up with Jason, something that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I never want to upset Brock again. He’s innocent in all this mess.

The bar is situated on the second story of the building on the strip, so I clamber down the rickety metal staircase. It’s a challenge completely sober, much less after my many beers, and I’m struggling to make it down without falling on my ass. Each step has me swaying as I grip the handrail, hoping to stay on my feet.

Once we’re on solid ground, I turn to Jason, waiting to see what he possibly has to say after how horrible he was toward me the other night. Guys who pressure girls suck. I can’t believe Jason is like that. He never was before. At least, I don’t remember him being that way. But I’m not sure I really remember him at all. My mind is like soup, and it’s hard for me to filter through in order to grab ahold of concrete memories.

"I'm sorry," he says, before I can speak. "I know I was completely out of line the other night, and I want to apologize. You didn’t deserve that."

I take a deep breath, pushing my skepticism aside. “You’re right. I didn’t.” Consent matters. I’m not sure I should forgive someone who tried to coerce me into giving him a blow job. I’m about to say as much, but something about the way he’s imploring me to forgive him with his eyes makes me believe he’ll become unhinged if this conversation doesn’t go the way he wants. I’m not about to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean I’m telling him that.

"I know I was acting selfish and immature," he continues, "and I just want you to know that I'm committed to changing. I’m falling in love with you, and I don't want to lose you."

My heart stalls at his words. They’re wrong. All wrong. He’s the reason I wound up back here, but it wasn’t for us to end up together. After last night with Brock, I know I’ll never love Jason. I just want him to go away. His declaration of love feels sinister and manipulative.

"I’ll consider forgiving you," I whisper, allowing him to pull me into a hug. "Just promise me that you'll never pressure me, then try to manipulate me into giving you what you want. That wasn’t cool."

"I promise," he says, kissing me gently on the forehead. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

“I’m going back to my friends, but I’ll see you later.” My words feel like a betrayal to Brock, but I need to get Jason to leave. This doesn’t feel safe.

Jason doesn’t feel safe.

Brock

Every time Hannah starts to make progress, she regresses back inside herself. If things don’t turn around soon, I’m going to have to make the hardest decision of my life. I’m not ready to let her go yet.

She was coming around. I know it. But now it’s as if I’m losing her for good. The harder I try to hang on, the quicker she seems to slip through my fingers.

“Open your eyes, Hannah,” I whisper, hoping she can somehow hear me, even though she’s not here. “Please.” I swipe at the lone tear making its way down my cheek. “I don’t know how to do this without you.”

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