Page 21 of Heaven Leigh’s Little Halloween

“Of course you do,” Angel agreed.

The absolute certainty in his voice stopped her in her tracks and it took her a second to regroup. “It’s just that I was never a kid, not really. My parents…” She let that trail off without finishing.

Heaven Leigh took a deep breath and let it out. “Anyway, when everyone else is running around screaming and playing pranks, I… just… I don’t feel like I fit. They’re happy to put on their uniforms and sit in class. Or sit at a table and color. Or…” She trailed off.

Angel’s dark eyes had been watching her, fixed on her. “And you don’t like those things?”

“No, I do, but… not all the time. Maybe it’s because I only got to play for a few minutes when I was growing up before there was some responsibility to take care of. Or maybe it’s just being a Little is only one part of who I am. I enjoy the same things they do, but then I want to get up and go do something else. Something that’s not playing. Something…”

“Adult?”

“Yes! Only not just for work. I love being in the kitchen with you and working has really helped a lot but there are so many other things I want to see and explore that unaccompanied Littles aren’t allowed to do here. I get antsy and I feel like I’m going to crawl out of my skin.”

Angel settled against the back of the loveseat, still looking at her. “So you have a strong Little side, but you don’t want to live as a Little all the time?”

She nodded.

“That doesn’t seem like such a hard fix. Sadie doesn’t stay in Little mode all the time. Neither does Hayleigh—she’s taking college classes now.”

“I know but both of them have Daddies of their own. They’re only in the Littles’ Wing when they feel like it. Or, I guess when their Daddies say they have to be, but not all the time. Not every day. Every hour.” She sighed.

None of this seemed like a surprise to the chocolatier. She had a feeling that he already knew all of this and was just trying to draw it out of her in her own words.

“That’s why you need a Daddy of your own, right?”

There was something in the way he said it that caught her attention.

It felt almost like there was interest there. Her cheeks darkened. She could feel the heat crawling up her neck. “That’s what Master Derek said, but no one is going to want me.”

That finally surprised him, and one eyebrow went up. “Why would you say that?”

“Because a Daddy wants a Little girl who is always a Little girl, and I’m not. I have a career. I’m used to being responsible for things. I’d feel suffocated if someone was watching everything I did and constantly trying to do things for me.”

“You know there is more than one kind of Daddy, Heaven. Not all Daddies want Littles who live that way twenty-four/seven. It’s understandable that it’s necessary in the Littles’ Wing. It would be too hard to manage everyone if they each had different rules, and were in different headspaces, but I think for most Littles that’s just a place to rest and recover from the world. To have fun and rediscover their inner child, until they’re ready to find a partner.”

Heaven rolled her bottom lip under, nibbling it as she considered what he was saying.

“When you have a partner and a relationship, it’s very different. There’s a lot of negotiating and balancing to find a situation that’s perfect for both of you, but I can assure you, that most Littles in those relationships get adult time too.”

Maybe… maybe he was right. Her only experience with being Little, or being around other Littles, did come from Rawhide, where things were a bit different. “Oh, I guess I just assume because of how things are in the Wing, that it was how things always were for Littles.”

Angel shook his head. “Every dynamic is different, Heaven. You just need someone whose needs match yours. What would you see as the ideal life for yourself?”

She started to answer and then stopped. “Do you mean just about kink? Or about my whole life?”

“Some people can separate kink into a small part of their life, maybe just in the bedroom. I don’t think those people end up living here though.”

He had a point. “Right. Um…” She had to think about it. Her focus had been on being a Little and what she needed from that, while trying to avoid thinking about the rest of her life. He seemed to want a full answer. “To be honest I was starting to think about just giving up my career entirely. I couldn’t picture going back… not after… but working in the kitchen with you has reminded me of how much I love being creative.”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do about that. There are big decisions to be made. I–” She cut herself off, on the verge of confessing about the company. That was a conversation for another time.

“I guess mostly I just want to explore this for now. I love being a Little, but I also want to”—she made a wide gesture with her arm, indicating the dungeon around them—“do all of this. And Master Derek says I need a Daddy, which I guess I do… but I don’t want to be cared for all the time. Sometimes, I want to serve, or, at least, I think I do.”

Angel made a sound she couldn’t decipher. “Did you have any experience in the scene before Rawhide? Maybe a boyfriend spanking you? A little bondage?”

If her face hadn’t still been hot, it certainly would have been from that question. She shook her head quickly. “No, no experience. I kind of thought I’d have the chance to get some here, but so far… not so much.”

She paused. “Well, that’s not true. I’ve gotten to be a Little and I do love it—in short bursts. And I’ve gotten punished a lot, and that’s something I think I want to keep. I don’t like it but…” She trailed off with a shrug.

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