Page 51 of Reclaimed

I looked quickly back up at Ray. I was surprised to find that the idea of having to leave caused an uncomfortable churning feeling in my chest. Somewhere along the line, I’d started to think of this place as my home.

“She didn’t do it.” I wondered for a moment if I’d misheard him.

“We can’t know for sure—”

“I believe her.” Silent tears of relief began to spill down my cheeks. It was over. I’d convinced him. We weren’t leaving. My body felt so spent I wanted to sink down onto the floor, but it wasn’t over yet. Just because they believed me about the phone, didn’t mean I was safe.

Ray moved to set the cane down on the desk, and I flinched. I never wanted to even see that cane again. I never wanted to see that look in Ray’s eyes again. I wouldn’t ever trust him not to hurt me again.

Ray knelt beside me and reached his hand out, but I backed under the desk and turned my head away. I understood why he hadn’t believed me, but I couldn’t forgive him for the cane. I couldn’t… wouldn’t try any longer to reconcile the version of Ray who claimed to love me with the version who could do this to me. I curled even more tightly into myself. He sighed heavily.

“I had to protect us, pet – all of us. I had to be sure.” Protection. He called this protection? He must have known that any attempt at reconciliation would be futile, and he stood.

“I still think—” Mark began, but Ray cut him off.

“No. She didn’t do anything. But you should still go.”

“I hope you’re right. And I hope she’s worth all this.”

“She is.”

The dim glow of pride his words lit in my chest wasn’t enough to diminish my sadness. The ache felt like grief – like something between us had died in that room. My natural inclination might be to submit to him, but I knew now, more than ever, that I would have to fight that if I was going to keep myself safe.

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

I didn’t acknowledge his words at all. I wanted to disappear into myself so that no one could ever hurt me again. Ray and Mark left the room. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain was intensifying. I ventured out from under the desk, cringing at every movement, and lay down gingerly on the floor. Even lying on my side wasn’t bearable: the pain was too great. I tried to control my breathing.

When Ray came back, I couldn’t even face trying to move away from him.

“I know you can’t exactly sit up right now, but I need to get these pills down you.”

I was too nauseous to even reply.

“Okay, I’m going to prop you up a bit.” I grimaced feeling his hands on me. Suddenly there was no one more repulsive to me in the whole world. But I knew I needed those pills. He propped my upper body up onto his legs and the pain made me cry out. “Callie…”

He sounded concerned. Good. Let him feel guilty. I let him put the pills in my mouth and drank the water he offered me.

“Do you need anything else?” I shook my head, willing him to leave. He lowered me back down and pulled a blanket over me. I hadn’t realised I was shivering. I screwed my eyes shut, blocking him out, and he seemed to get the hint.

“The medicine should start working soon; I don’t know if it’ll be enough, but it’ll help. I’ll come back to check on you when it’s kicked in, okay?”

He sighed when I ignored him. I don’t know how I got through that time waiting for the medicine to work. It could have only been about thirty minutes but each one was filled with agony.

*

When Ray came back, the pain was still severe, but my breathing was under control and the shaking had stopped. He sat beside me.

“You seem a bit better.”

“A little.”

“But it still hurts?” I glared at him.

“Oh Callie. Why didn’t you tell me the truth sooner? You could have saved yourself all this pain.” How was he managing to make even this sound like it was my fault? As if he was the unwilling victim of my stubbornness.

“You didn’t give me a chance. You were so angry…” The memory of his hardened face, the degradation in his rough hands as they forced me down onto the desk… It was too much to bear. I didn’t even notice that I’d been digging my own nails into the skin of my arm until Ray gently tugged my hand away.

“I am so sorry, Callie.” He stroked the back of his fingers down my arm where my nails had left angry red indents in my flesh. “I never would have believed you would pass up an opportunity to escape. I thought you’d call for help as soon as you had the chance.”

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