Page 29 of Reclaimed

“You see what you do to me? How hard you make me?” I knew he was going to order me to touch him, so I wrapped my hand around him and stroked. I tried to focus on the mechanics of the task, so that I could have a breather from the emotional hurricane howling in my brain. Gentle to start with, that’s what he’d always told me he liked. He’s moaning, okay, good – that means he likes it. Now swirl your thumb over the top, and again, concentrate. I can do this. I’ve done this before. I can do this.

“Good girl.”

He rolled me onto my back and straddled my legs, kissing his way down my body. He grabbed my breasts harshly and flicked his tongue against my nipples, sending tingles through my body. I moaned and arched my chest up further towards him. I was helpless against him; he remembered every single thing I liked, everything I couldn’t resist, and my body couldn’t help but respond to him. He smirked.

“You want that again?” I moaned with a mixture of longing and shame. “I asked you a question, Callie. Do you want me to do that again?”

“Yes,” I whimpered. He obliged, swirling his tongue torturously before continuing his descent. I started trembling again as he got lower, but whether it was from fear or arousal this time, I couldn’t tell – they were deliciously mixed together into an intense heat that was all-consuming. Finally, his fingers slipped under the lace of my knickers and stroked. I turned my face away in shame – I knew he was feeling how wet I was.

“Do you remember now?” he whispered smugly. “Remember how your Master can make you feel? Hmmm?” I bit down on my lip, trying to hold in my moans, but when his thumb slid over my clit, I couldn’t hold it in. “That’s it, little one, let it happen.” He dipped his fingers inside me, and I gave in. I thrust my hips upwards to meet his fingers and heard him give a satisfied laugh. “There’s my girl, my good little slut, I knew she was in there somewhere.”

His fingers were relentless, and his mouth was on my breasts again. I no longer cared about letting him see my pleasure – we both knew that all my resolve had crumbled. It felt so intense, and it had been so long. I grabbed onto his shoulders and kissed him hard, pressing my hips up into his hand until I came.

I kept my eyes firmly shut; I couldn’t look at him. I’d let him bring me to climax; I’d let him give me pleasure, and I knew that this changed things.

Ray gave me a moment to come down from my high, kissing my neck and face gently, but I could feel he was impatient for more.

“I told you you’d enjoy it. Your body knows who its Master is.”

The post-orgasmic haze didn’t last long. All that was left now was sex, and my lingering fear that Ray wanted to hurt me, to punish me as part of this lesson. My eyes were still shut. If he was going to turn, I’d rather not see it happen.

The bed shifted underneath me as Ray knelt up and moved to straddle me. My eyes flew open, and I instinctively flinched and drew back further up the bed.

“Hey, shhhh.”

“Please, Ray, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are.”

“Please don’t hurt me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“But you said…”

Ray sat back on his heels for a moment and sighed. “Callie, your punishments are about pain. This is separate. When we have sex – that’s about pleasure. Okay? Didn’t you enjoy yourself just now?”

I nodded.

“Look at me.” His expression was so sincere, so affectionate, that I felt my heart go to him in that moment. Whatever else could be said about him, it was clear that he really did love me. “You’re safe. I won’t hurt you in any way… unless you ask me to, of course.”

I desperately wanted to trust him; could I trust him?

“Look, Callie, I don’t feel any anger towards you right now, okay? I thought I would, but I don’t. I just feel… excited, and relieved. Maybe you should let yourself feel the same.”

“Okay.”

“Good girl.”

I willed my body to relax into the bed once more as Ray slid my knickers down my trembling legs and positioned himself on top of me. My body wanted him, and I tried to force my awareness lower into my body and out of my head. He started pushing in gently, and I bit my lip. Okay, breathe, this is going to feel good in a minute, if you let it. I was grateful for his gentleness – I’d been expecting vindictiveness, but he wasn’t showing me any. If anything, what he was lavishing my body with was reverence. Finally, he was all the way in, and I started to feel calmer. He’d had a chance to hurt me, and he hadn’t taken it.

“Fuck, I forgot how good you feel.” He pulled back and thrust in again slowly, a low groan escaping his lips. I reached up to grasp his broad shoulders and pulled his torso down closer to me. Here I could lean up a little and nestle my head into his chest. His body was surrounding me, enveloping me in his warmth. I closed my eyes and listened to his breath. And for the first time in weeks, I felt safe.

I lifted my hips up to meet his next thrust. He moaned and started to pick up the pace, making it even harder for me to maintain any semblance of control. My gasps of pleasure seemed to spur him on even more.

“See, you’re my good little slut, aren’t you, Callie? You love it, don’t you?”

I tightened my grip on his shoulders and kissed his chest. All my earlier trepidation was gone; I just needed more of this, more of him.

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