Page 28 of Reclaimed

“I just needed… I couldn’t think straight.”

“I’m not surprised.” He was amused. I was in turmoil, and he was still enjoying himself. He ran the backs of his fingers up and down my arm in a way that was meant to be soothing but only served to raise fresh goose bumps along my skin. He took the water glass and placed it on the side table before standing behind me and replacing his hands in their preferred position on my hips. He leant his head into my neck and ran his lips along the sensitive skin there.

“Did it all get too much for you back there, little one?” It was getting too much again, feeling his arousal pressing into my behind, feeling his hot breath tease against my ear.

“Y-yes.”

“Hmm, and I bet that brought back some memories didn’t it?”

“Ray, please—”

“Please what, Callie?” he murmured silkily.

“Please don’t…”

“Hmmm? Please don’t do this?” He kissed my neck again. “Or this?” And he grazed his teeth over my earlobe.

“Both,” I whispered.

He smirked into my neck. “Are you sure?” His hands tightened their grasp on my hips. “Are you sure you want me to stop? Because it kind of seems like you’re enjoying it.” He was right, and he knew he was right, but I couldn’t find it in me to hate him for his arrogance – I just needed more of his touch. His hands slid up the front of my top and I arched my back to encourage them. He grabbed my breasts and moaned, pushing his hips forwards. He needed me.

“Fuck, Callie, I’ve missed you.”

I don’t know if it was a sob or a moan that escaped my lips then, but I knew he was winning, just like he always knew he would. There was no turning back now. Even if I could convincingly beg for him to stop, he was going to go through with this anyway. He’d been waiting for this moment a long time – the chance to reclaim me. I was surprised he hadn’t done it sooner.

“Take off your top.” I did as he ordered, but I felt suddenly embarrassed in front of him, as if we hadn’t done all this and more a hundred times over.

“And your jeans.”

Oh God, this is really happening.

Getting caught up in Ray kissing me was one thing, but this was different. He wanted my active and willing participation now, and somehow stripping for him felt far more degrading than just letting him run his hands over me. I wondered if this was setting the tone for the rest of this… encounter. Was this just sex? Sex and humiliation? Sex and pain? Away from his teasing mouth and hands, there was space for my mind to be assaulted by images of what he might do to me. It was as if I’d sobered up in an instant, and my body quivered as I dutifully took off my jeans. I felt instantly cold. I glanced up at Ray. He was enjoying this. He could see the conflict in me, and how afraid I was. I wanted to wrap my arms around myself, but I knew that was a luxury I would not be afforded.

“Such a good girl. Go to the bed.”

I looked in panic from the bed back to Ray, starting to back away.

“Ray, please… please don’t make me…” It only seemed to make him want me more. I remembered what he’d said about seeing me frightened… Would he think I was just being coy? Was I? Hadn’t I desperately wanted this, only moments ago?

“You’re shaking. Are you afraid?”

I nodded, praying that he was going to take pity on me. But I should have known better.

“Don’t you trust me?”

There was no good answer to that question.

He tutted playfully. “Have you forgotten who I am? I am your Master. Do you think I need to wait to take what’s mine?” He started moving slowly towards me like a hunter, an exhilarated look on his face – we were playing his favourite game. “Do you think your tears are going to stop me?”

I shook my head, backing away from him. It seemed like my body was shrinking, growing weaker and weaker the closer he got to me. Had he always been so tall? I felt as though he was a shadow that was about to engulf me. I couldn’t look.

“Sweet girl. Don’t cry. You’re going to enjoy this; I know you are.” His words were more cocky than comforting. “You so want to give yourself to me.” He was still advancing when I felt my legs hit the bed. He stepped forwards swiftly to close the space between us and placed one hand on my hip and the other on my face, his thumb gently brushing away tears. “You’re mine, understand?”

I nodded frantically, too petrified to risk upsetting him. “Good. Now get on the bed.” I clambered onto the bed, still shaking, and lay down, turning my face away in a pointless attempt to hide my continued crying. I could hear Ray starting to undress, and I tensed instantly when I heard him undo his belt. “Shhh, little one, I’m not going to hurt you.” I almost believed him. He could make his voice sound so tender, as if he really wanted me to feel safe. But then in a heartbeat, he could turn cruel again. What was the use of resisting? It didn’t matter which version of Ray I got; I was still powerless. All my fight was gone. I knew I had to give him whatever he wanted. He lay beside me on the bed and pulled me into him. I wondered if my trembling was going to make him angry, but he didn’t say anything. He lifted my head up towards his and kissed me deeply. I responded as best I could, but my breathing was still erratic. His hand was stroking freely up and down my body, and with each stroke, his fingers would just skim over the skin around my underwear. He knew I liked to be teased. The combination of fear and arousal was making me feel light-headed, and I felt my body softening, relaxing into the bed, accepting his touch.

“So beautiful,” he murmured between kisses. He took my hand and placed it on his chest. Again, it seemed he wasn’t going to let me get away with being the passive receiver – this wasn’t a punishment; this was a lesson. He was going to get far more of a kick out of it knowing that’d he coerced me into being actively involved. I’d imagined our first time having sex again would be violent, forced. But knowing Ray, he’d planned all along to get me to this point – he didn’t want me by force; he wanted me willing.

I tried to remind myself that he wasn’t some stranger – he was Ray. We’d done this before, and I’d loved him, and God I was even attracted to him now, after everything. But that didn’t stop me from still feeling slightly treacherous as I forced my hand to stroke up and down his chest and stomach and around to his back. He grew impatient and grabbed my hand, lowering it forcefully so that I could feel his arousal. He moaned immediately at the contact and bit down on my lip.

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