Page 164 of Mad Love

Fucking hell.

The door to Grandpa’s bedroom appeared at the end of the hall, and for a second, I wasn’t sure I could do it. I wasn’t sure I could confront this new truth.

I was a kid again, my dad telling me my mother was dead before shutting himself off in his library with whatever secretary still thought she had a chance in his bed.

I’d been alone that night, a kid unable to process what was going on until Grandpa and Nana had shown up. They’d stormed into my dad’s house, and Nana had grabbed me and Cori to take us to the car while Grandpa yelled at my dad.

I’d spent weeks with them, and we’d grieved together.

But now… Now there was just me.

Maddie squeezed my fingers, startling me back to the present.

No, there wasn’t just me. There was us.

“I’m ready,” I whispered, not entirely sure I meant it, but I forced myself to close the distance to the door and turn the knob before I chickened out.

I paused, my eyes adjusting to the dimmer lighting before sweeping the room and landing on my grandfather. Emotion choked me in a stranglehold as I edged my way inside, Maddie with me every step.

“He looks like he’s sleeping.” I hadn’t even realized I was speaking.

Maddie wrapped her hand around my bicep and leaned against me. “He looks at peace.”

He did. The lines of constant stress and strain were gone, and the bottles of pills and cartons of tissues had been removed. The scene looked almost normal, except that his bed was clearly medical grade.

Taking a deep breath, I moved forward until I was at his side. There were a million questions I suddenly wanted to ask, a thousand things I wanted to say. So many ways I wanted to express my gratitude for the role he’d played in my life.

Maddie reached around me and touched his hand. “Thank you.”

I jolted, wondering if she’d read my mind.

She gave me a watery smile, tears shimmering in her gorgeous eyes. “He’s the reason you’re you. And I’ll owe him forever for that.”

I blinked, stunned when I felt something wet and hot land on my cheek. Fuck, I hadn’t cried in… I didn’t even know.

Maddie didn’t hesitate. She wrapped her arms around me, anchoring me the way she always said I did for her.

“I’ve got you,” she murmured. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

I wound my arms around her, crushing her to my chest as I let myself fall.

CHAPTER 58

MADDIE

Comforting Ryan felt strange and achingly perfect. It was hard seeing this man who had always appeared so indestructible break down. All I could do was hold him and let him know he wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I stayed as he said goodbye to Grandpa, and then the others slowly trickled in to say their goodbyes. I stood at his side as the coroner’s office came to collect the body, and then I followed Ryan into our bedroom and curled around him as he tried to fall asleep.

It had taken hours, but finally, he slept.

I didn’t.

I stayed up, replaying how we’d gone from such a high to such a low in less than a day. I replayed my last conversation with Grandpa and shed a few silent tears for losing a man who had shown me more love than any other adult ever had. In this world, there were so few adults who were actually worth mourning, and Grandpa was at the top of the list.

In a lot of ways, I felt his loss deeper than that of my mom. I felt no loss at all for Gary.

I’d been asked by the police what I wanted done with my father’s remains, and I’d shrugged before walking out. I didn’t care at all beyond setting his body on fire, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t have won me any favors with the police department.

---