Page 12 of My Brutal Beast

My face heats, both from the memory of how hard and rough he was inside of me, and also because he’s carrying me. I’ve never been carried, not even as a little girl. I’ve always been too big, too overweight, and my reaction is instantaneous: “It’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I’m too heavy for you like this. Put me down.”

Raven’s eyes narrow at my words, but he drops a kiss on my forehead. “You are not too heavy for me. I’m sorry you have been surrounded by nothing but weak men who didn’t care about you—much less deserve you—but they are your past, not your present or future. That role belongs to me. Nothing they said was true. Do not do yourself the dishonor of believing their lies.”

His sincerity shocks me, and I don’t know how to respond to him. He sets me down on a chair, and I hear the steady stream of water pouring from his bathtub. The world fades away as his words settle inside of me. I meet my own gaze in the mirror and take a long, hard look at myself.

My face is too plump; my neck too wide compared to my shoulders. The fat on my arms jiggles if I move too fast. My breasts, too large, rest on top of my protruding stomach, and my thighs swallow the chair, hanging over its sides.

Most of the words that come to mind when I see myself are negative. That I’m fat, big, overweight, obese, unattractive, unhealthy. That I’ll get diabetes. That I’m hurting myself by not exercising more or sticking to a diet of SlimFast and salads. That I should be happy with any male attention I receive, because I’m nothing more than an easy lay.

But Raven doesn’t see me that way. I can’t remember the last time anyone took care of me or was a tenth as caring as Raven has been over the last twenty-four hours.

“Do you have a favorite scent?” Raven asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

He’s piled the silver marble countertop with at least fifteen different bottles of bubble bath soap, and he’s still gathering more items from a linen closet.

“I also have these. Fallon says you’d like them, but I apologize. I don’t quite know what they are.” He rolls two individual packages of bath bombs in his hands with a confused look on his face.

The balls, the bathtub, the fact that we’re still naked—even how adorable he is when he’s confused—fades away at the sound of another woman’s name falling from his lips. White hot jealousy rushes to the surface, and I can’t stop myself before I say, “Who is Fallon?”

At the change in my tone, he turns and immediately comes to me. He cups my face, his hands gentle as they caress my cheeks. But I’m still vibrating with anger, hurt, and a betrayal I shouldn’t feel.

I barely know this man. I have no claim to him. But my body and heart won’t acknowledge that.

“Fallon is my personal shopper, as I rarely leave this castle. I asked her to help me get things for you, because I wanted to make sure you would have everything you could possibly need.”

Just like that, my jealousy leaves me, and I’m embarrassed. I tilt my head away from his searching gaze, and he pulls me back. I grasp his forearms and drop my head forward, but he simply squats down to my level.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” he says, and his sincerity brings tears to my eyes. “I don’t know much about human emotions, but I know I’ve upset you. What did I do? How can I fix this?”

I shake my head, moving to wipe my eyes, but he catches my hand and brushes my tears away.

“Please talk to me, my little star,” he pleads.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “When you mentioned Fallon, I just…got jealous that you were talking about another woman, that she bought you things and you had them here. I…I got scared—” That you might be with someone else. I can’t bear to say that thought out loud or deal with the feelings of heartache it raises within me. “I shouldn’t have felt that way, I—”

Raven tilts my chin up gently, his dark eyes staring into my own like he can see into my soul. “You have every right to feel the way you do, my little star. In fact, I won’t lie and say that a little piece of me isn’t pleased. I, too, wondered if you might have someone you cared for, and got jealous.” The way he says the word is almost like he’s tasting it, trying it on, figuring out if it fits just right.

My face heats. I know I don’t have to tell him. I know that life isn’t this simple. I can’t just meet someone and fall in love with them, and yet, I still want him to know. I need him to know. “There isn’t anyone.”

He beams. It’s as if light covers every inch of his face. His smile kicks my heart into fifth gear as his tail gently thumps against my foot in pure joy. Raven wraps his arms around me and kisses me like I am all the stars, the planets, and the moons in our galaxy. Then he says, “There has never been another woman for me. Only you.”

My eyes widen in surprise. “What? Never?”

“Never. You were my first. I had never even kissed a woman before or been with anyone until tonight.”

I’m stunned into silence. The way Raven kissed and touched me, I was sure he had experience. Knowing this wonderful, beautiful man was a virgin, and that he not only gave me that gift, but the most orgasms I’ve ever had in my life, is astounding.

Raven moves to turn off the bath water, but his movements are slightly awkward.

Is he shy?

“Would you still like to take a bath?” he asks.

I nod, and though I have so many questions, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“Good,” he says, then goes back to the counter, retrieving the line of bottles and bath bombs. Anything that doesn’t fit in his arms, he carries with his tail, and I have to stop myself from chuckling at how cute he looks. “Now, which one of these would you like to use?”

“You didn’t have to go through all of this trouble for me. Anything is fine, really.”

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