Page 13 of My Brutal Beast

His face grows serious. “No, I never want you to settle for less than you deserve—not for anything ever again. I want to know what you want and what you need, and whatever that is, I will provide it for you. I want you to feel comfortable here, with me.”

I bite my lip to stop the words that almost fall out of my mouth. I’m not worth all of this. I’m not used to this, my mind shouts. A bubble bath is a simple thing, and yet he looks at me as if my choice is more important than his next breath.

“Tell me what you want, my little star, and I will move the heavens and the earth to get it for you.” His voice is captivating, seductive, pulling at my long-awaited desire, my hope that someone would finally just want me. That I would be enough, that my happiness would finally matter.

It’s a lull I can’t resist, and finally I whisper, “Flowers. I like the smell of flowers.”

He smiles, and the pleasure on his face makes my heart pound.

Raven carefully places everything down and picks out two bottles. “These are floral scents. Which one do you like?”

I smell the first one. It reminds me of a summer garden: fresh roses, daisies, and a warm breeze. The second one is completely different, with lavender, vanilla, and jasmine. The moment I inhale it, my entire body relaxes. “This one.”

Raven purrs, and the vibration soothes me more than the scent of the soap. He pours it into the bath along with some Epsom salt, then presses a button and starts the Jacuzzi. In seconds the bathtub is filled with bubbles, and the fragrant scent begins to fill the bathroom. I let out a soft sigh.

Raven sets to putting the other bath soaps away. I move to help him, but he stops me with a kiss. My heart swells at the action, at how he clearly cares for me, but it also confuses me.

This is all so new, moving too fast, and a small part of me wonders if I’ve lost my mind, while the rest of me simply wishes to bask in these feelings. I can’t reconcile the two, so I grasp onto the tub and move to get into it.

Raven moves by my side once more, holding my hand and letting me use him for balance.

“Is it hot enough for you?” he asks.

“Yes, it’s perfect,” I hum as he helps to lower me into the tub while I hold my hair to keep it from getting wet. A moan leaves me at how heavenly the water and jets feel.

Raven stills behind me for a moment, then takes my hair and hangs it over the edge of the tub. “Is there anything I can get you?” he asks in a gruff voice.

“No.” I take his hand and look up at him. “Thank you for this.”

“Anything for you, my little star,” he says, dropping a kiss on my forehead before settling in on the bench behind me.

Raven says those words so easily, yet they rip through me like a raging tide. I look around the bathroom to try and distract myself. The bathtub sits in the middle of an octangular room with large windows surrounded by long black, gold, and silver drapery. The walls are made of wood, and wooden beams hang above me, as does a chandelier that would look beautiful lit up at night. There’s a fireplace built into the wall on my right with a TV above it. The floors are made of the same silver marble as the countertops. It’s expensive, opulent, and a place I never thought I’d be.

What am I doing here?

Everything suddenly crashes through me. The reality check I got earlier, the drug and near assault, that Raven likely murdered those two men but hasn’t harmed me once.

Raven is holding the door open to everything I’ve ever wanted, and yet I’m terrified to trust him. If I reach out my hand to him, will he let me fall? Will he abandon or use me like everyone else in my life has? I want so badly to trust him, to listen to the feelings in my heart, but there’s too much I need to know.

I take a deep breath to gather my courage before asking, “Raven…why did you save me last night? Why were you there?”

He tenses behind me. Then he pulls my hair onto his lap, his movements gentle as he curls strands between his fingers. His silence is weighted, like he’s considering his words before he speaks.

“Truthfully, I wouldn’t have been there, and that would have been the worst mistake of my life. I had not planned to go out at all, but then I grew restless. Nothing I did calmed me. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t quiet my mind. I took flight and then felt this undeniable pull, as if I was being led somewhere important. The moment I saw you, I knew you were what I was meant to find.” His gaze softens as he looks at me.

I clasp my hands together under the water, trying to ignore the hopeful warmth that flows through me. “What was I doing when you found me?”

“Those things,” he says the word with so much malice that a chill sweeps down my back, “had their hands on you. They drugged you, and you were nearly unconscious.”

I lick my dry lips. “I didn’t see you, not really, but I saw what you did to them.”

Raven’s face drops. “I apologize that you had to witness that.”

“Why did you kill them, Raven? Are you normally that violent? Is that how you handle things?” I don’t want him to say yes. I let those hands touch me. I’m letting him run those strong fingers through my hair right now, caress and soothe me, and I don’t want any of it to end. I desperately want to understand, and I need him to help make it easier.

He sighs, but his eyes meet mine, and there is not a shred of doubt or shame in them. “There is so much I need to explain to you. Will you let me?”

“Yes,” I say and brace myself for his story.

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