Page 99 of Dark Knight

“Yeah, I am. I told Chaz Drummond he could sell it to me–so long as he stops sniffing around like a dog after a bone. Trying to talk people into selling now that the market is hot out there. I have the guys keeping an eye on him, and he knows it.” I was waiting for him to piss his pants when I strolled into his office and set the terms. I was hoping he would. The fucking sleaze. But he knows what he’s doing, and I need somebody to get the property off my hands.

“What about your bike? Are you selling that, too?”

Of all things for her to ask about. “No. I’m having it sent here, along with everything else I want to keep. Otherwise, I’m ready to move on.”

What did I expect? Praise? Acknowledgment, at the very least? I should know better by now. “You’re still running away, you know.”

Do not engage. Do not give her what she wants. Somehow, I swallow back the burning need to throw her assumptions in her face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You can’t just turn your back —”

“Listen to me, because I will only say it once. I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m moving on with my life. And I don’t need you or anybody else to approve. I’m doing what I need to do. And considering you know damn well how much I need to get rid of that place and put it behind me, I would think you’d be glad to hear that. But no, you would have to give a damn about somebody other than yourself.“

Yes, that’s good. That hurt her. Sure, she’ll pretend it didn’t, but I see the pain that crosses her face like a cloud passing in front of the sun. “If I only gave a damn about myself, I wouldn’t risk coming over here.”

“And I’m full of shit? You came here to get the last word, as always. You wanna make sure I know what an asshole I am for sending you away. Surprise, I ended up here, anyway. So we’re both back where we started.”

“And you’re back for good?”

“This is my job. This is where my life has been for a long time. Where else would I go?”

“Hmm, literally anywhere else?”

“You’re that desperate to get rid of me?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean? Since when do you hold back?”

“Why do you have to be this way?”

“This is the way I’ve always been.”

“No, it’s not, and you know it.” I hate how her eyes search my face like she’s looking for something I can’t show her. I want to – more than anything, I want to. I want to be the man she needs. I want to take her in my arms and tell her it killed me to hurt her before I sent her away. How much I wanted her to stay, permanently.

How we can’t always get what we want. Especially people like me.

“Look. I don’t know what you want me to say. I came back because this is where I belong.”

“And this is all you want to be? Dad’s, like, assistant? That’s enough for you?”

“Would you stop this? Please. Give it a rest. Stop pushing. You’re always pushing. I don’t like being pushed. Don’t you know that by now?”

“And don’t you know that I’m not going to stand back and let you walk all over me without saying a word? Do you think I would let it be that easy for you? You fucked me, and you threw me away. And not once did you apologize, even though you had the chance.”

“Finally. We’re getting to the real reason you marched over here.” I have to laugh at her transparency. “Why would I apologize for something I didn’t do? I never threw you away.”

“You did. You sent me away and then you waited until the last minute to tell me so. And don’t use my father as an excuse,” she warns. She’s trembling now, and her voice is shaking nearly as much as her body. She wraps her arms around herself, but that doesn’t do any good. “You didn’t have the balls to tell me. You didn’t want to deal with it. How could you be such a coward?”

“Tatum, I’m not in the mood for this. It’s late. It’s been a long day.” And because I don’t want to come off like a total heartless bastard, I add, “You said you worked hard helping Sheryl. You’re tired, too.”

Misfire. Her head snaps back while her eyes bulge. It's too late to take the words back—now that they're out of my mouth, I understand what I sounded like. “Did you seriously just tell me to go to bed like I'm a kid who missed nap time today? Is that what you're doing?”

The fact is, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. She's got me fucked in the head in almost every way imaginable. Torn between wanting to tell her to fuck off and throwing her on the floor and doing what my body compels me to do. To take her. To stake my claim. Because she's always been mine, from the very beginning. Telling myself it wasn't right made no difference at all.

No, that's not true. I only wanted her more because she was forbidden fruit. She still is.

“You need to go.” I stand with a weary sigh and take a few short steps to the door. “You shouldn't have come in the first place. We need to forget what happened and move on, because it was a mistake. I know you have to see that.”

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