Page 98 of Dark Knight

“It wasn’t easy, although it was necessary.”

He nods slowly as he chews. “I can see that.”

The whole time, I can’t shake the sense that we’re tiptoeing around the actual subject. At least, I am. He doesn’t know what I’ve struggled with over the longest four days of my life. How I woke up sweating like a man in the grip of withdrawal. In a way, that’s exactly what I was going through. I lost my drug of choice when Tatum walked out the door.

He can’t know that. He can never know it.

“I better go unpack. I only dropped my things off at the cottage before coming up here.” Standing, I take my mug to the sink and wash it out. The kitchen is spotless – no evidence of the massive feast that was prepared here today. Tatum insisted on helping Sheryl with the cleanup. I knew why. She couldn’t stand looking at me. I can’t say I blame her. “As usual, I’m available to review anything I missed while I was gone. We can catch up whenever you want.”

Callum only chuckles and shakes his head. “We’ve barely started digesting dinner, and already you want to get back to work.”

“You know me. A workaholic. It wasn't the same doing shit from all the way out there.”

“Nobody would blame you if you wanted to take some time to settle in again. It’s a holiday weekend – there’s no hurry.”

So this is Callum Torrio, family man. It’s not that I am not glad for him – it’s good to see him stepping back and enjoying life a little. He has every reason to. A new wife, a baby on the way, the whole thing. He also has enough money that he could choose to never work again and be just fine. So could his kids and his grandkids.

Nonetheless, I’m anxious as I leave the house, stepping into the chilly night. I need to work. I need a distraction, something to throw myself into. The temptation of having her near is going to wreck me otherwise.

I did it to myself by coming back, didn’t I? Seeing as the alternative was unthinkable. Living every day without her. Going back to a cold, empty house on Monday night after walking for hours. There was nobody there. Not a soul gave a shit where I was. There was nobody happy to see me come home. Even a small house can feel cavernous when there’s nobody else inside.

Callum’s glad I went out there? From where I’m standing as I enter the cottage and turn on the light, it might have been the worst possible move. Given that it showed me everything I’ve missed without knowing I was missing it. It took everything that once used to satisfy and sustain me and turned it on its head, shining a bright light on what my life became.

And now, standing here in the middle of my living room, I can only wonder how I lived while feeling like the walls were closing in at all times. It’s claustrophobic in here. Sure, when Callum first offered me the renovated garden shed, I jumped at the chance to live here. It was the first time I had a little something for myself, though it wasn’t really mine. I wasn’t completely independent, still living within the walls of the compound, but I could come and go as I pleased. That was enough for me.

Now, it’s like wearing glasses for the first time when I didn’t know my eyesight was failing to begin with. Everything I got used to over time looks different. It makes me wonder how I ever got along like this.

Instead of standing around and wasting time with questions, I get to work unpacking and putting things away. What did I expect would happen tonight? I knew Tatum wouldn’t throw herself into my arms – not after our last fight. That’s by design, of course. I need her to hate me. I don’t trust myself otherwise.

By the time the house is in order, I’m damn near exhausted. It’s been a long day and an even longer night. I haven’t been sleeping well, either, thanks to the ugly dreams that have haunted me since Sunday.

I’m about to change for bed when there’s a sharp, insistent knock at the door.

My heart stops for a second before hammering furiously against my ribs. This was bound to happen. Tatum was going to confront me sooner or later. I have to be stronger this time. I can’t give in.

Not even when the sight of her floors me as I open the door. This is as close as we’ve been all night, close enough to reach out and take hold of.

Only her eyes flash deadly fire as she glares at me. “Are you serious? After all that, you came back, anyway?”

She rolls her eyes when I look behind her, then back and forth. “Nobody knows I came over here. Jesus. You think I’m stupid?”

“Get in here.” I grab her by the arm and tug her inside, then slam the door. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to —”

“Could you not, for once?” She holds up a hand, groaning. “I’m sick of hearing the same bullshit over and over. Do you think I’d come over here if I didn’t know he went upstairs? Please, give me a little bit of credit.”

How can I give her credit when it’s all I can do to keep from taking her in my arms and crushing her body against mine? I definitely missed her, but this is enough to take my breath away. The way my body reacts — all at once, my dick is hard and I’m starving. I am so damn hungry for her.

“What are you doing here?” Fuck, it’s not easy getting the words out with my jaw clenched. I can hardly suck in a breath with my chest this tight.

“What do you think? I want the answers. Was this all a game? Acting like you hate me just to screw with my head?”

I’m glad she’s acting like a brat. It’s easier to resist temptation when she irritates me this way. I flop onto the sofa, shrugging. “Not everything is about you.”

“You’re so full of shit.” She looks me up and down with the sort of disgust I’m used to. Yes, this is how I need her to be. Pissed off and hurt and hating me. It’s safer this way.

“What do you want me to say? I decided to come back. I’m selling the house, and I’ve come back.”

“Oh, that’s it? You’re done with the house?”

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