Page 3 of Lust

He shakes his head sharply. “She’s a Sunday morning Christian. She only goes to church for show. To please me and Ana.” His jaw tightens. “She’s not on fire for God.”

Because she’s an atheist. I want to tell him, but I can’t. Mariana swore me to secrecy when she told me several months ago. We were on a walk at an outdoor party—the sound of the ocean made it impossible for anyone to overhear us—and yet she lowered her voice when she said “atheist,” like it was a dirty word.

To people in our world, it is, and it made my heart ache that she trusted me enough to tell me. I promised myself I would never betray that trust.

“I’ll let her know she can talk to me about her struggles, but I’m not going to push her.”

He smirks, his gaze drifting back to Sofia. “Because you might be her brother-in-law someday. You want to make a good impression.”

I grit my teeth, shooting him what I hope is a playful eye roll. He smiles back, and I resist the urge to let out a groan.

My pulse is only beginning to slow to a steady beat, and it’s not because of the woman I’m courting.

ChapterTwo

Mariana

Brandon’s voice is lower and huskier during Saturday evening service. I can’t be the only one in the congregation who imagines lying naked with him in the middle of the night.

Not during sex. This is the voice he would use just after. He’d be lying there with his tatted forearms bent, resting his head in his palms. The white sheet would just barely cover his muscular hips. Those warm, dark eyes would probe into mine, welcoming me to tell him all of my secrets.

I would too. He’s so warm and inviting and nonjudgmental. I can only imagine how much kinder he’d be after I showed him with my tongue how much I—

Heat washes over me when those dark eyes of his meet mine in real time. I shift in my seat, my heart racing. Why do I always feel like he can read my mind?

I can’t let him see that he’s unsettled me.

When I smile slowly, his eyes widen minutely, and he licks his lips before looking away.

I glance over at my sister, and thankfully her attention is fixed on the Bible on her lap as she highlights a verse.

God, I’m so childish. Here I am trying to taunt Brandon right in the middle of church when I’ve been doing everything in my power to reconcile my relationship with Sofia. Why does rebellion always rise within me whenever I’m near him?

Not that Sofia minds when I flirt with Brandon. She knows he’s not into her, even though Dad is pushing for them to be together. Brandon treats both me and Sofi like little kids. She was shocked when he asked her out, but she went along with it anyway. She’s too pragmatic about her current situation to care why he really did it.

He pities her. Just like everyone else in this damn community. All because of her broken engagement. She’s been so hurt over it for so long that she’s now almost thirty and still single—an old maid in the evangelical community.

“As we close today,” Pastor Brandon says, those big arms gripping the pulpit, “let’s remember that our faith calls us to actively care for the poor in our communities. This week, I challenge us all to step out of our comfort zones. Let’s be walking examples of Christ’s love in a world that desperately needs hope and compassion.” He smiles. “Amen.”

Applause breaks out, and I repress a smile as I glance around the congregation. I don’t remember my childhood pastor getting this kind of a reaction after a sermon. How funny humans are, unable to separate physical beauty from something that is supposed to be spiritual and not of this earth.

Sofia smiles at me. “Let’s go see what he needs us to do.”

I grit my teeth as she walks proudly toward him. There’s possessiveness in that walk of hers. She knows Brandon’s not into her, but she’s not above showing off to the world that she landed the “hot pastor.” It wouldn’t annoy me if I didn’t know the real reason behind it.

She wants her ex-fiancé, Finn, to find out they’re courting. She wants him to learn through the Christian gossip chain that on Saturday nights, she acts like the pastor’s wife in a church led by a man who looks like an Avenger.

She wants Finn to regret abandoning her.

As we make our way through the crowd, Brandon steps down from the stage and is instantly surrounded by a group of young people—mostly pretty women—and I can’t fight the smile rising to my lips.

How could he not enjoy this? Dad constantly teases him about his near celebrity status in this town. New Morning didn’t become one of the largest churches in Santa Barbara within two years because of Brandon’s preaching abilities. Yet, he always responds stoically to dad’s jibes, like it’s never even occurred to him that he’s gorgeous.

Nothing on this earth is more annoying than a pastor with false humility.

Maybe that’s how I’ve justified flirting with him all these years when I know how much it flusters him.

As soon as we get close, Brandon turns toward Sofia and smiles. He walks over to her and presses a light kiss against her cheek. His lips are stiff—almost tucked in—but if Sofia notices, she doesn’t show it.

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