Page 20 of Play Maker

Or how I’d used her to try to fix my dissatisfaction with my life. Turned out, she wasn’t what was missing before, but she sure as hell was now.

To be fair, I hadn’t had those moments nearly as much since getting involved with Blue. I absently did a few bicep curls, focusing way more than I needed to on my form in the mirror.

I didn’t need to see Shaw’s face to feel the disbelief coming off him.

“I’m over it.” I made the mistake of glancing his way to see if the second time had been any more convincing.

Shaw raised a brow. “No, you’re not. Are you going to talk to me, or do I need to sick Noah on your ass?”

I racked the dumbbells I’d barely used. “Why isn’t he here, anyway?”

“I wanted to start off easy. Thought you might be more willing to open up if it was just me.”

“You brought RJ,” I pointed out.

Shaw sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, that was an accident. She woke up early and saw me getting my gym bag. You know she’d rather eat glass than miss a chance to get her hands on some weights.”

I snickered. “That’s what you get for trying to corner me by hiding it from her.”

“I don’t hide shit from her. As soon as she started pulling on her leggings, I told her I was going to corner you. She agreed to leave early if I asked. That’s how much she loves you.”

Emotion clogged my throat for a second as I wiped down the bench. I loved her too. Like a sister. The same way I’d sworn I loved Eva for years, until she showed up at the apartment after the championship with a bottle of tequila and a proposition. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

And now I was thinking about Eva again. Fuck.

Shaw shook my shoulder, halting my attempts to clean the vinyl. “It’s okay to be sad or whatever, but talking about it might help.”

I sank down onto the bench and gave up on trying to get around the conversation. Shaw would back off if I refused to talk, but he wouldn’t give up. He’d slowly wear me down until I wanted to pay RJ to smother him in his sleep. Better to get all the bullshit out of the way now.

Besides, I was tired of avoiding my friends.

“Thinking about what happened with Eva sucks. I figured talking about it would suck more, so I haven’t. Mostly I want you guys to stop treating me like I’m ten seconds from buying a pillow with her face on it.”

Shaw sat next to me on the bench. “Aren’t you?”

I shoved him sideways. “Prick. I’m not making voodoo dolls with her hair or anything. I thought at first she broke my heart, but this feels like a different kind of hurt. Like despite everything we’ve been through together, I didn’t measure up in the end.”

He sighed with a heavy frown. “It wasn’t about you. Eva wasn’t meant for any of us—a fact I thought you knew until you let your dick do the thinking. She’d walk all over you if you guys stayed together, and that would only annoy her.”

I narrowed my eyes at his reflection in the mirror. “You sound like you have inside knowledge.”

“I have eyeballs and a functioning brain. Plus, a girlfriend with inside knowledge who’s way smarter than me. Eva wasn’t abandoning you—she was trying to give you both space to deal with the new dynamic.”

“Would have been easier to deal if I had my best friend here,” I grumbled.

“The rest of us are still here, asshole. We missed you at karaoke last week, by the way. How’d your mom react to having her second favorite son home?”

I barked out a laugh. Shaw had met her a few times over the years, and Graciela Mackenzie hadn’t met a friend of mine she didn’t immediately adopt. She regularly referred to him as her favorite son because he made her breakfast once then cleaned up after himself.

“I spent a week watching House Hunters with her and letting her stuff me with enchiladas. What do you think?”

“Sounds like she was in heaven, and you were moping.”

I pointed at him. “Hey, House Hunters is compelling. I saved the moping for after she went to bed.”

“I take it you didn’t tell her what happened with you and Eva?”

“Nah, man. That’d break her heart for real, and I’m not in the business of hurting the people I love. She’s been planning our wedding since the second grade.”

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