Page 21 of Play Maker

Shaw twisted his fingers together in front of him, then tilted his head to look at me directly. “What’s really bothering you about this?”

I hadn’t tried to put the feelings into words until now and having an audience didn’t make the effort any easier. “She left. She’s never given up on me before, and I’m afraid I fucked this up bad enough that I won’t get her back.”

“You still want a shot with her?”

“Nah, that ship sailed.” An image of Blue, tropical eyes twinkling as she teased me, busted into my head. It wasn’t the same, not even close. Loving Eva was comfortable and easy—I’d been doing it my whole life—and making things physical felt like a natural next step.

The way I felt with Blue wasnotcomfortable. It was vibrant and thrilling and electric, like breathing in the air before a thunderstorm. Dangerous and exhilarating all at once. She saw me in a way no one else did, not even Eva, and I could feel myself shifting closer to that version of me every time we were together.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go of the Mac I’d built, and I wasn’t sure I had a choice.

Shaw watched me grapple with all the deep shit in my head. “It’s not Eva, is it?”

“Fuck, man,” I groaned. “It’s everything. School, football, girls—everything. Doesn’t the endless, unknowable void of the future terrify you?”

He glanced toward the door where RJ disappeared. “Not anymore.”

“Oh say less. Please. I can’t handle another relationship truth bomb.”

Shaw stood and stretched his arms above his head. “Eva will be back at the end of the summer, ordering us all around to her satisfaction. Change is inevitable, but she’s not going anywhere, no matter how bad you are with your dick.”

I threw my hands in the air, though Ididfeel better. “Why is everyone suddenly down on Big Mac? Is this because your girl can’t stop looking at my abs?”

He propped his hands on his hips and sent me a pitying look. “Riley may have been yours first, but she’s mine last.”

“That’s what I told you when she first got here,” I reminded him.

Despite his questionable methods, some of the weight on me had lifted. Shaw and RJ, Noah, Soren, D—all of them were as close as my family. They’d give me shit, but they loved me. I’d throw down for any of those assholes.

“You can come back in,” Shaw yelled toward the door.

Seconds later, RJ was stacking plates on the squat bar like a boss. “Finally. I couldn’t hear shit out there. Get it all settled or do I need to get involved?”

Shaw hooked a hand behind her neck and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “It’s as sorted as it’s going to get for now.”

I leaned down to grab my bag, sure now the “mandatory” training had been only for me. “Thanks for being nosy bitches. At least there were only two of you.”

RJ patted Shaw’s ass then sent me a cheeky grin. “Chloe and Noah wanted to come too, but Parker had seniority.”

“If you’re all here harassing me, who’s checking on Eva?”

She scoffed. “You think Eva would let us check on her?”

Eva may have hurt me, potentially more than I realized if Shaw’s head wasn’t up his ass, but she was still my best friend—still part of our crew—and they needed to step up where I couldn’t.

“I think this isn’t a decision she gets to make.”

They shared a look, and Shaw shrugged. “Riley talks to her pretty regularly. She’s as fine as you are.”

“Fantastic,” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t want her hurting.

RJ glanced at the bag in my hand. “What are you going to do now that the cheerleaders have banned you from practice?”

She didn’t mean to score a hit, but RJ had good aim. I usually spent my time doubling up on workouts with the football team and the cheerleaders. Some of those ladies could probably bench more than me. I was built for speed, but I didn’t slouch with my strength training.

Until the last few weeks.

Cheer practice had already started for the summer, and Lizzy, one of Eva’s squadmates, had straight up uninvited me from attending. Honestly, I wasn’t even mad. While I enjoyed the focus on different skills they offered, without Eva there, I didn’t feel the draw I did before. Unlike with my new summer bestie. Maybe I could convince Blue to start her dating lessons at the gym.

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