Page 123 of Home Tears

I knew it was Jonah before he even showed his face. And it wasn’t that I recognized his body or how he moved—I just knew it was him. The first bubble bore his name, and I blinked back tears of gratefulness.

They weren’t tears that I was happy to be alive. They were just happy tears, just because.

You see—this story wasn’t about falling in love or reuniting with my estranged sister. It wasn’t even about me realizing that I’d been cheated by myself and others from Erica.

This story was about me. I came home, haunted, and I fought through the second storm. I needed to fight. And Jonah had been the first to spark that fight inside of me. I was grateful for that, more than I could ever put into words.

Trenton and Jake waited. Julia wept that she was alive as Jonah peeled off the facemask, but his eyes found me first.

He ignored my hysterical sister, as I stood calm. My petty side loved that.

Jonah caught me in his arms and wouldn’t let go for more than two minutes.

Julia grew silent, a bit miffed—if you asked me, but how do you gripe to a pair of lip-locked lovers?

Her brush with death had given her some maturity, but I knew then, Julia would always want the attention. That would never leave her because that was just my sister.

And then Jonah gave me a second gift. He whispered that Mae was alive, and my tears broke free at that moment. A fist curled against his chest, and he merely held me longer. My knees were unsteady. My knees were always unsteady around him. I’d grown used to it, but my knees gave out in that moment.

Jonah gave Trenton a side-hug. He gave Jake a tap on the shoulder, but then he swept me up and carried me to a private corner.

Julia and the others huddled with blankets, watching for more bubbles.

We stayed there as more divers popped up. They helped ready the others. Even Trenton. His hands and arms grew weak. He needed help getting the mask on. Then all of them dove back in.

Jonah held me against his chest with his arms around my front. He whispered into my neck, “I—I thought you were gone.”

“I thought I was supposed to go.”

His arms tightened. He dropped a kiss to my shoulder. “There’s a lot that I want to talk to you about, but before I lose the chance to say it—I am in love with you.”

The magic of dancing herbs and magical spices burst forth in me.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Jonah laughed. “Not the response I was going for.”

“No, I mean—thank you.” For giving me that spark back. For being the first one to give that spark back to me. I turned in his arms and grasped his face. “I love you, too.”

I had hope.

Jonah helped me get that back, and it wasn’t something I could tell. It wasn’t a feeling that could be explained. I left home with no hope, and I returned to get that hope again. I had it now, and it took a demolished town to realize it was there—inside me—the whole time.

“Thank you.” This time, I spoke to my mother and my sister. They were around. They told Julia to go south, even though Julia would never admit it. All sorts of channels will open in times of crisis, and that’s when belief can come flooding in.

Jonah and I swam back out and were welcomed with warmed blankets. Jake grabbed me in a bone-crushing hug before he set me back down and returned to Julia’s side. And I knew that my sister changed when she offered me a smile—an actual smile and looked content as Jake wrapped his arms around her once more.

Later, Julia would tell me that she received a phone call. Aunt Kathryn died nineteen minutes before the first wave crashed into Craigstown.

I’ve thought about that quite a bit since then. And the way I envisioned it—she merely closed her eyes, her hands folded over her chest, peaceful, as the first wave took her body. It was almost a beautiful way to go.

Through the rest of that summer and into the fall, Craigstown was rebuilt. It went a lot faster because of the grey pearls. Those little mussels came in useful when they were needed. In some way, it was like they were meant to be discovered when they were. There were a lot of other heroes hailed from the flood, but I was one of them. I didn’t run this time. I didn’t want to run, and I knew that whatever was broken inside had healed.

You see, I was my own monster. When you don’t have hope, something can grow inside of you that will just keep hurting, biting, snarling. You sink farther, and eventually the monster will overtake you.

Some people don’t fight back. They might hurt others, hurt themselves, or relinquish the fight for happiness.

I can’t explain what happened or how it happened, but learning my family’s secrets helped me learn who I was inside. I gained perspective and realized it wasn’t me. I wasn’t the one who screwed everything up. I wasn’t the ‘defect.’