Page 96 of The Jester and His Outlaw: Part One

I already can tell something is wrong. Riggs can sense it too. He makes a beeline for Gramma’s bedroom and I’m right behind him because I won’t let him face anything alone, lifeless body or not.

He stops dead in his tracks, and I grab for his hand. I miss it when he drops to his knees. Instead of turning to greet us, her eyes lit up, Gramma stares at the ceiling, her blue lips parted, eyes glazed over. Her tan leathery skin is pale white, ghostly, and her chest is neither rising nor falling.

Fuck.

My stomach recoils, and I choke back the nausea bubbling. I’ve never seen a dead body before, and she is very much dead. Why is she staring at the ceiling like that? Do your eyes not close when you die?

The room spins, but Riggs lets out a choked sound that snaps me back to reality. His head has fallen forward and the butt of his hands are covering his eyes. He drops back on his haunches, gripping his hair and pulling the ends of it with force. He intends on ripping it clean out of his head.

“Riggs, baby,” I start. “Tell me what I can do.”

He doesn’t respond, just lets out a sob.Shit. Shit. Shit.

I run a hand through my wet, tangly hair, spinning around like I’m going to find something in the room that would help. I can’t quite comprehend anything, though. Like I said, I’ve never seen a dead body before. I have no idea what to do. Do we call the police? 9-1-1? Will they claim we’ve murdered her?

Ah, fuck. Riggs is freaking out, so quiet. Why is he so quiet? Maybe I can call my parents. No, then they’ll know I stayed with him last night. Which yeah, I’m an adult, but my parents like to tell themselves I’m a virgin and all, especially my dad.

Riggs curls in on himself and when I touch his back, he flinches away from me. My heart cracks instantly, ripping wide open. He’s pulling away. Hell, it’s possible he even blames me. He didn’t want her to pass by herself and he was out with me last night. I kept him away from her.

Granted, she wanted him to live a normal life like she wasn’t sick and he was trying to do that the best he could for her, but it terrified him she would die by herself.

He didn’t even get to say goodbye because she hadn’t woken up before he left for my party yesterday.

Vomit threatens to heave from my guts, but I force it back. I can’t go there, can’t blame myself. My focus should be on him. I reach for him again and he pulls away. A sob escapes me. “Riggs,” my voice cracks, “please let me help you. Let me hold you.”

Silence. No. No. No.No.

I can’t deal with him blaming me and shutting me out. I can’t lose him. Someone has to help him—do something. I have no clue what I’m doing and he is understandably too grief stricken to decide right now.

I call Jensen with shaky hands and shaky words. He picks up almost immediately. “Charley?” He doesn’t sound tired or annoyed. Knowing him, he’s been up for hours. From what Foxy has told me, he runs a tight schedule.

“She’s…” my words are quiet and my teeth are chattering from being soaked.

“Are you okay? What is it?” I hear Foxy in the background asking him who he’s talking to. “Where are you, Charley?”

Fuck.I’m failing at this. I can’t get my brain to focus because I feel like my world is imploding. All that registers in my brain right now is Riggs walking away from me. That’s selfish and ridiculous and this isn’t about me in the slightest. A woman just lost her life, but I can’t help it. If it wasn’t obvious before, it is now. Riggs is my world, and he is in pain right. I’m fucking helpless to do anything because he won’t let me in and I don’t know if touching him, wrapping him in my arms, will trigger him or not.

“J… it’s Gramma—” Another sob tears through my defenses before I can stop it. Frustration grows. I’m not supposed to be the one crying right now.

“I’ll be right there, Charley.”

“Okay,” I say, but I’m not sure how I managed to even get the sound out. There is some shuffling on the other line.

“Charles, it’s me. It’s Fox. How you doing, babe?”

“Not good, Foxy. Will you come with Jensen?” I ask, feeling like a five-year-old calling for her mother. That’s the last thing Riggs needs right now—a reminder that he doesn’t have any parents. My parents would drive all the way out here to help, I know they would, but he also doesn’t need a bunch of people around that he doesn’t know. I’m glad our friends are coming.

“Of course. See you in a couple minutes.”

They don’t knock,merely walk right in. All three of them. Jensen nods in my direction, where I stand in the doorway to Gramma’s bedroom. Riggs is on the floor behind me. He isn’t crying from what I can tell, but he’s muttering something to himself and hasn’t taken his hands from his face. As soon as Foxy and another dark-haired shadow come into view—Kai—relief, albeit the tiniest amount, washes over me. I’m not alone.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. He won’t talk, Foxy. What do I do? I’m failing him.”

“First of all, you’re not failing shit. And second, do not apologize for calling us. We will always come as I’m sure you would always come for us.” She tries for a smile, but it looks more like a frown. She takes in my appearance and places her hands on my shoulders before she pulls me in for a hug. Kai soon joins her, wrapping us both in his embrace, and I soak in their familiar scents. Roses and boy musk. Kai kisses the top of my head before they pull away.

“You’ve got this, sis. We’re all here for the two of you.” I half expect Kai to turn away from me dating his friend or to make some sort of joke, but even his sarcasm knows now is not the time. I don’t have to ask him for permission to date Riggs, regardless, but if he didn’t like it, he would have said something long ago.

We turn toward the room. They both flick their gazes to the bed briefly before finding Riggs. Jensen puts a hand up in warning to keep us all back and we send our acknowledgment his way. We’re smarter than that.

---