Page 86 of Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

Waiting.

I grip the knife in my hand under my cloak. My head is pounding. I can hear roaring in my ears, but when I blink behind the mask, all I hear is the sound of footsteps as the main door of church opens and closes. I can sense them. Six men to us ten.

"What the fuck?" I hear one of them say.

None of us move.

Not yet.

I feel a buzzing sensation in my hands in anticipation. Every time I kill, I feel it. The numbing. The roaring in my ears right before it happens. The manic episode is what they call it. The doctors call it an episode derived from explosive anger derived from a motive. My motive is fear of losing the one thing I value most in this world.

Her.

"One is moving! Ahhhhh!" Mr. Black is the first to scream, drowning out the first rumble of thunder as the main door of the church is shut.

CHAPTER 33

Alaric

It's ten o'clock on a Sunday night, and I'm pacing back and forth. "Relax, sir," Sergio says, before stepping out to see if Veronica needs anything. I can't. I want it to be perfect. Tonight, has to be perfect. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Cold feet?" Draven asks behind me when he walks in, closing the door.

"It's not mine I'm worried about."

"She's here, and she isn't going anywhere," he assures me.

"I know that, but what if she remembers all the fucked-up shit I've done to her and changes her mind."

“I have already told you, she's loved you since she was in high school. She's done things she's had to do. I see the look in her eyes when she looks at Gia and Jess. She's ashamed. It doesn't matter how often we tell her it wasn't her fault, but one thing she isn't and was never ashamed of was being in love with you. Everyone knows that. There's one man in this world Veronica loves, and that man is you. It was always you, Alaric. Since the first time she laid eyes on your sorry ass, she knew.”

"I know, but I didn't fight for her when she needed me."

He steps closer, fixing the red rose on my tux. "You are now. Right now, this moment." He looks up, a fierce look in his eyes. "This is how you show her you're fighting––for both of them. It's not just her you're fighting for. You're fighting for your future with…her and your child.”

I nod, my heart filling with an emotion I can't describe. Tonight, I'm marrying the woman I love, and I don't give a shit about rules or what the Order thinks.

After a few seconds, he slaps me on the shoulder, trying to comfort me. "Come on, man. We're starting."

The church is decorated with black and red roses. I asked the priest to marry us, and he approved when I mentioned who I planned on marrying. He got permission from the church without the Order finding out on such short notice. Graduation is looming in one week. The cathedral was cleaned, and it smells of hundreds of candles and roses and a perfumed scent. Nothing at all like death; it’s filled with the promise of life.

The pews shine with all the members of the Consortium in attendance. Sixty-Seven, including Adam. His sisters, Dorothy, and the wives of the sons of Kenyan are all seated. Reid is standing to the side, waiting with Jess as the best man. Jess is in Alicia's place. My chest is tight with emotion, and needles prick my throat. Not of sadness but a distinct happiness I have never felt. If I think about the best night of my life, this sums it up. I'm marrying the woman I love, making it my mission to steal all her firsts. Her vows in return for making all of her dreams come true.

I swallow, hearing a click in my throat. "If anything happens to me, she gets everything, Draven. If I live or die, she will be Mrs. Riodrick-Riordan."

He nods. "I know. It's done."

I stand to the left side in front of the priest waiting…waiting for my wife to walk down the aisle.

Evanescence's synthesis version of “My Immortal” begins to play; everyone stands, and she takes her first steps in black and red silk with a dark laced romance dress. Her dark hair is in waves down to her waist. Her eyes are like clear blue diamonds, almost aquamarine, under the candlelight. She looks breathtakingly beautiful. Her waist is still small despite being pregnant with our child. I could not hold back the tears watching my wife come to me. My chest is thick with emotion.

We can't stop staring at each other, lost in our world the whole ceremony. We almost don't hear the priest when he says it’s time to say our vows.

"Please," the priest says softly.

I hold her hand and look into her eyes, sliding the halo cut, ten-carat solid diamond with hidden black diamonds around her finger. "With this hand, I shall bear the weight of your sorrows, lifting them as if they are feathers carried by the wind. Your cup shall remain forever full, for I am to be the crimson essence that fills it - a dark and intoxicating wine of companionship. I will light a candle, and its gentle flame shall illuminate your path through the labyrinthine corridors of darkness"–– I slide the ring on slowly–– "This ring, a circle unbroken, symbolizes my desire for you to stand by my side, an unbreakable union. As twilight embraces the day, your life with mine, forging a bond as timeless and impassioned as love itself.”

Tears shine in her eyes when I glance up, and it's her turn. She takes my hand in her delicate one, doing the same with the platinum band on my finger. She begins, "With the grace of my hand, I shall lift the burdens that weigh upon your heart, holding them delicately like fragile petals in the breeze. Your cup shall know no emptiness, for I shall pour into it the essence of my devotion, a love that overflows endlessly. I accept your ring, a symbol of eternity." She slides on the ring. “I present this ring as a token of my deepest longing, heart, and soul. With the twilight stars in the night sky as our witness and in the eyes of God, I ask for your hand in a journey where our souls intertwine in love as profound as the eternal night. Life is where we love amongst the living and in death where we sleep amongst the rested."

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