Page 25 of Unrealistic Expectations

He hadn’t even noticed that. “I want nothing more than to kiss you right now, and I know it would feel really good for both of us. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s a great idea.”

Galvin sighed. He didn’t want to turn her down, but he knew that kissing would not just stay kissing. He’d almost dry-humped her through her front door the last time he’d kissed her, and they weren’t even anywhere private at the moment. “Listen, there’s nothing more I’d like to do than make out with you like a teenager in the back seat.” He motioned his head toward the back of his car. He’d never had sex in it, but he’d done the calculations before purchasing the vehicle, and the measurements worked. “But I think you’ll regret it, and you’ll hold that regret against me.”

Jessica pouted, and he was even closer to giving in. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Wasn’t this what he was supposed to be doing? Being considerate?

“Act like you know what’s best for me.” She sounded real frustrated, and it didn’t make it easier not to kiss her right now. “I know what’s best for me.”

“And you think that’s me?” Galvin definitely didn’t think he was the best thing for her, now or ten years from now, but he would do whatever he could to give her what she needed.

She paused, biting her lip, and he wasn’t sure if he was relieved that she was rethinking hooking up or disappointed. “I don’t know if you’re what’s best for me, but doing what’s best for me hasn’t really gotten me anywhere.”

“And you think doing me will?” He wanted to kick himself for sounding so insecure.

“We’re such a mess that we kind of make sense.” She laughed. “But the only time that I haven’t been going over what went wrong with me and Luke since the day he left was when you were kissing me.”

So he was definitely a rebound, and he had to decide if he was willing to live with that. He made the huge mistake of looking at her, and that decided it—he would take her now and deal with the pain of whatever came after.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Jessica had never liked waiting for anything. For as long as she could remember, forward momentum had been the only way to keep herself calm. Whenever she stopped, she felt powerless and out of control. And she knew that becoming comfortable with discomfort was the only way to grow. But knowing something on an intellectual level didn’t make it easier to embrace when her sense of safety had been eroded so much in the past few weeks.

Waiting for Galvin to decide whether or not he wanted to kiss her was a whole other brand of torture than waiting for board certification exam results or waiting in line at the DMV. It felt life-or-death, and it was terrifying that a man she didn’t know that well had this kind of power over her. This was why this kind of chemistry was unsustainable. She didn’t care that he was bad for her or that he would leave the moment that he had an orgasm with her in the room. She didn’t care that she needed him to keep up the facade that she had it all together.

She had nothing together. She was held together by glue and tape—and it wasn’t even duct tape.

He looked at her, though, and even that made her feel alive. When was the last time she’d felt so alive just being around another person? Maybe not ever. Definitely not around Luke. God, Luke! The way she’d folded her own wants and desires into tidy little packages and put them away for her entire adult life based on the whims of a man who could walk away like that? It made her even more afraid of what she was beginning to feel around Galvin.

Before she could rethink herself out of it, he leaned toward her until their lips touched. Then he stopped and waited to see if she would pull back. She should have but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was choosing life, even if it resulted in pain.

His lips were cool and dry, and his breath smelled faintly of the cocoa and coffee liqueur in their dessert. Like that dessert, he was indulgent. And she luxuriated in the anticipation.

“You’re sure?” She hated that he was treating her as though she was fragile. She definitely was fragile, but he didn’t have to treat her that way.

“Galvin, I want you to kiss me. I need you to make me forget.” She knew she sounded as though she was begging, but that was just where she was at right now.

He didn’t make her beg any more. Even though she’d been waiting for him to kiss her, she was not prepared for how feral he would be when he finally did. The other time they’d kissed, it had started out slow. But not tonight. Her mouth would be bruised and swollen when he was done with her. And the other night, he’d been hesitant to really touch her, but he leaned over the center console tonight and grabbed her bare thigh with one of his big hands. He squeezed the flesh and pinned her to the seat.

She wrapped one hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer to her. Her skin was on fire and the center of her pulsed with the beat of a song that sounded like pure need.

He explored her mouth until they were both gasping, and then he moved to her cheek. While she never wanted the kiss to end, she wanted to see what he would do next. All of a sudden, she didn’t care that they were parked on a residential street, where someone could pass by while walking their dog. She wanted everything that he was willing to give her right now. Her mind was deliciously blank, except for thoughts of how good his mouth felt against the skin of her neck and how much she wanted him to touch her everywhere.

She felt wanton, like a siren. It was a completely foreign feeling and one she’d been trying to avoid her entire life. But something about Galvin and when he’d walked back into her life made her brave enough to throw herself into the abyss without a parachute. She might fall, and hitting the bottom of whatever they were doing would hurt, but she’d been in pain before. Only she’d become so used to the pain that it hadn’t felt like pain anymore. It had just been normal. That kind of pain was deadly.

Right now, she ached for more of Galvin’s touch, but she also felt the pain of knowing that she wouldn’t have it forever. That someday soon they would walk out of each other’s lives and she might never feel this kind of lust again.

“Are you still with me?” He whispered his question in her ear. His hot breath raised goose bumps all over her skin.

“Yes.” Her voice sounded thready, the need apparent.

He kissed a spot on her neck, right below her earlobe, that made her shiver. “If we were somewhere private, I would spread your legs, and pull your panties down. I can smell how turned on you are, and I want to taste it.”

She’d never been with a dirty talker before. Luke fucked silently, and he hadn’t even liked it when she made noise. But she now completely understood the appeal. With just a few words her entire basement was completely flooded, the simple picture that he’d planted turning her upside down with want.

“You can’t talk to me like that.” If he continued, she would be riding him in the driver’s seat, with no care at all for the consequences.

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