Page 55 of Time to Shine

Casey had been thinking a lot about their shopping trip two days ago. In particular, about Landon in that cashmere sweater, and the way he’d let Casey touch him. His arm had felt so warm and solid through the soft fabric that Casey had wanted to crawl inside the sweater.

And, of course, he was still thinking about Landon being a virgin. And then hating himself for thinking about it.

Did Landon want to have sex? Not with Casey, obviously, but with anyone? If he did, then what was stopping him? And what if he found someone he wanted to have sex with, and then that person was mean to him? Or was bad at sex? Or wasn’t patient and respectful and cool? Landon deserved someone good.

If Landon asked, Casey would find him someone good.

Casey flopped onto his stomach. Then rolled to his back. This sucked.

The wind was howling outside, which wasn’t helping things. It was loud and creepy. A few seconds later, it got a whole lot creepier when the power went out, plunging the room into blackness.

“No,” he whispered shakily as he fumbled for his phone. “Fuck.”

He turned on the flashlight on his phone, but it only made the room scarier looking. For several minutes, he was nearly paralyzed with fear. He wanted to leave the room, but he couldn’t make himself move. He knew the rest of the house would be just as dark, but maybe he could get to Landon.

And then what?

Fuck it. He’d figure it out when he got there. He forced himself to his feet and walked quickly to the door.

His flashlight beam bounced around in front of him as he made his way to the stairs. His heart was racing, his throat bone-dry. He felt like screaming, but there was no reason. He knew that. The house was safe, he told himself. It was just dark.

God, it was so fucking dark.

He carefully made his way down the stairs and into the living room. He swung the flashlight beam around the room, just to reassure himself that no one was lurking there.

And then he really did scream. Because there was a fucking monster sitting on his couch.

Casey’s back hit the wall before he’d even realized he was walking backward. He was still screaming. The monster stood up with his hands held palm-out in front of him. He was wearing a goalie mask.

“Casey,” the monster said. “Jesus, I’m sorry. It’s just me.”

He removed the goalie mask, and of course it was Landon.

Casey crumpled to the floor. He felt like his circuits were all fried, overwhelmed by too many huge feelings at once: terror, relief, and now humiliation.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Landon said softly. He was crouched next to Casey, one big hand on his shoulder. “It’s me. It’s Landon.”

“Okay,” Casey said in a voice that didn’t sound okay at all. “Fucking hell.”

For a few minutes, they both stayed there, Landon’s hand never leaving Casey’s shoulder. Casey pressed against it, seeking comfort and wanting to wrap himself in Landon’s arms. It was so fucking stupid, this fear. He concentrated hard on slowing his breathing, at getting himself under control because he was probably scaring Landon. It had to be freaky seeing your roommate reduced to a quivering ball. Casey had never wanted anyone to see him like this.

Finally, his breathing slowed to something close to normal and his heart felt less like it was going to explode. “I’m okay,” he said.

“You want to sit on the couch, maybe?” Landon asked.

“Yeah. All right.”

They moved to the couch, Casey scrunching himself into the corner, and Landon sitting one cushion away, the Santa-shaped pillow that Casey had impulse-bought at Costco between them.

“The power went out,” Landon said unnecessarily.

“I know. I was coming to find you.”

“Why?”

Casey chewed his lip, trying to decide what to say. Since it seemed like the cat was out of the bag anyway, he said, “I hate the dark. Like, really hate it.”

“Oh.”

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