Page 56 of Time to Shine

“I couldn’t sleep anyway, and then the lights went out and I just needed to find you. I couldn’t be alone.”

Landon didn’t say anything for a moment, probably processing the fact that Casey was a baby. Then he stood up and walked toward the window. Casey wanted to beg him to come back, but a second later the Christmas lights around the window were on, and then the ones on the shelf under the TV.

Landon gave him a soft half smile in the glow of the multicolored lights. “Good thing you got battery-powered ones.”

Casey exhaled slowly. He was so glad he wasn’t alone.

Landon was wearing a white long-sleeve T-shirt and plaid pajama pants and he looked so cozy and cute that Casey forgot to be scared for a few seconds. “Is there a reason you’re scared? Did something...happen?”

“No, nothing. That’s the embarrassing part. It’s just a phobia, I guess. It makes no fucking sense.”

Landon sat on the sofa again, this time a little closer to Casey. “I’m sorry. That sounds awful.”

“It’s stupid. I hate it.” Casey stared at Landon’s knee. It was so close to his own. “I thought I’d outgrow it, y’know? I mean, parts of it, I did.” He hesitated, unsure how embarrassing he wanted to get here. Then he just went for it. “When I was a kid, I could barely be in a room by myself, like any time of day. At night, I always slept with a light on. As I got older, I got a little better at being alone, but the dark still terrifies me. My imagination goes wild. I don’t even know what I’m scared of.”

Landon’s lips quirked up on one side. “Masked men on your couch, maybe?”

Casey managed to smile back at him. “Yeah. You, um... Hang around in the dark wearing a goalie mask often?”

Landon laughed, just a tiny bit. “Yeah. Kind of.”

Casey nodded. For some reason it made sense.

“It calms me, I guess,” Landon explained. “On nights before games, especially. I think I’m more comfortable wearing the mask than I am without it.”

“Oh.” Casey uncurled and placed his feet on the floor. He was still jittery, so he hunched forward and took a few deep breaths.

“You okay?” Landon asked.

“Yeah. Keep talking. I like your voice.” It was probably a strange thing to say, but it was true. Landon’s soft, deep voice was soothing.

“I have trouble sleeping sometimes,” Landon said, “and it helps if I put the mask on and kind of meditate.”

“In the dark?”

“Usually, yeah. No distractions in the dark.”

Casey huffed out a shaky laugh. “Everything distracts me in the dark.”

It felt weird to actually be talking about this, to have shared his most closely guarded secret with someone. But Landon didn’t seem to be judging him at all. He was just quietly observing him with those sad brown eyes, looking sympathetic rather than disgusted by Casey’s childish fear.

Casey grabbed the Santa-shaped pillow and hugged it against his chest. “So yeah. I’m kind of a mess.”

“You’re not a mess.”

“I’m a total mess.”

Landon tapped his bare foot against Casey’s ankle. “If anyone here is a mess, it’s probably the guy who needs to sit alone in the dark wearing pajamas and a goalie mask the night before games.”

That made Casey smile. “So you couldn’t sleep this time either, huh?”

Landon sighed. “No. Same thing as last time. Just...spiraling. It happens a lot.”

“That sucks.”

“It does.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

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