Page 77 of Leave Me Broken

Walking to my desk, I find the note she mentioned. It states exactly as she said and that they want to see her after the season is over to do another MRI to be sure everything is still in tact and the brace did it’s job.

It’s there in black and white, and yet I can’t believe she’s here, in uniform, ready to play the day after she finds out her mum died.

I pull out my desk drawer and her file, taking my time to place it inside, then return it to the folder. Once the drawer is locked, I toss the key into my pocket and fold my hands over my desk. “Payson, we should talk about—”

“Can I go practice? I feel a bit out of it after those few days off and this is a big game.”

“Jailbird.” I try again, gentler this time.

Her body jerks with a wince but she forces the weakest smile. Payson struts across my office, I turn to meet her when she stops next to my chair. My hands go to her hips, needing to touch her, make sure she’s real because it’s very possible this is a dream. Payson seems . . . happy.

Her smile grows. “I’m okay, baby. Promise.”

Looking at her, you wouldn’t think she was lying. Maybe she’s not and she really feels okay but I see and hear the void inside her. “If you’re not, you know I am here to listen, to hold. To love.”

When she kisses my forehead, I grab her face and move my lips against hers.

“I know.”

I slip my tongue between her lips, not battling like usual, loving the connection. She’s the first to pull away, she pets my face and stands.

“Are you sure you can dive and stuff?”

“Yes, I’ve been here all day practicing. The brace gives me the security I need.”

“Good. If it’s too much—”

“Tell you. I know, but I’m fine—really.”

I am the one to grab her face and drag it back to mine. “It’s okay not to be.”

“I know, but I am.”

I don’t want to believe her. It seems like a bad idea—but she seems so sure. I’m teetering on the edge, and she must see it. She moves closer, stepping between my legs and tickling the hair on the back of my neck. “I need this, Ash. Volleyball is my lifeline. Please let me play.” For the first time since I walked in tonight, her eyes fill with unshed tears.

“Okay, babygirl. But go stretch. You are going to be sore after tonight and we don’t need you actually tearing your ACL.”

27

Payson

“Can you believe that save?” I bounce excitedly in Ash’s front seat. “Mr. Charles said it was one of the best he’s ever seen in high school. Even for Senior Varsity.” That had to be the best compliment I’ve ever received. Even if it was from the rep at Ohio State. A college I will never attend. Because it’s Ohio.

“I have no doubts. It was a fantastic save.” Ash brings my knuckles to his lips and kisses.

“You guys are seriously gross. You know that, right?”

I ignore Parker because even he can’t annoy me tonight. I just played my best game to date and got recognized by another scout. I feel amazing. Everything besides my knee. I’m still wearing my brace but I’m worried how much it will hurt when I take it off. I can already tell it’s more swollen than usual.

“Parker,” Ash scolds, sounding so much like a dad my stomach twists in a weird way. I’m so attracted to his bossy side but there’s also a part of me that wishes he would parent me. My grandpa is amazing but sometimes I wish I had an iron fist guiding me.

I grab his hand and return it back to my bare thigh. “It’s fine.”

Ash huffs, and for the first time ever, he turns the radio on. “Mr. Brightside” blasts through the speakers, and he doesn’t bother turning the radio down because he knows this is my favorite song.

“I need to run to the petrol station,” he announces. I’m not sure Luca and Parker can hear him over the music since I barely could and I’m right next to him, but I settle in and enjoy my good mood and good music.

Luca and Ash run into the store and I’m thankful the music is still loud enough it won’t be awkward when Parker and I don’t speak. That is until he leans into the front seat, turns the music down, and says, “I’m sorry about your mamma.” There are times when his accent is hard to understand, this isn’t one of those moments, but I wish it was. Unlike Luca, Parker hasn’t been to America, maybe once when he was younger, Ash said, but he’s lived in Italy his whole life. He speaks fluent English, but his accent is thicker than Luca’s.

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