Page 146 of Leave Me Broken

Judging by Payson’s glazed over eyes, I’d say she is thinking the same thing.

The music is too loud, room is too crowded and the air smells like a mixture of cheap cologne and perfume. By the time Payson and I made it down here, shots were already being thrown back by the coaches and the teams were crowding the dancefloor, and it hasn’t stopped since.

Payson stands off to the side with Monica chatting. It’s weird not seeing Janelle by her side. Or Janelle here at all. There are a lot of blondes so it’s possible I’m missing her but I’m sure I’m not. I’m hopeful they can make up. I know nothing about what she mentioned with her dad, but a friendship with Payson and Janelle doesn’t come along often. It would be a shame to see it fail.

Speaking of friendships.

“Fratello.” Luca holds up his glass and I cheers it, then we throw the contents inside back. “Great games, yes?”

“Very,” I agree. “We had several scouts sniffing around our girls.”

“I am not surprised. I see all these girls going far.”

Me too. “How do you think we will manage for state? Did you watch Frankenmuth’s videos I sent you?”

“Si, yes. They are good.”

“We are better.”

Luca slaps my shoulder. “Also, yes. But we have a long couple weeks ahead of us.”

Yes, we do.

“So, relax and enjoy the party, Ashley. Come Monday we will be in, uh, what do they say? Bootcamp?”

I chuckle into my glass. “Something like that.”

The next morning, everyone is extra quiet. I’m fairly sure half my team is still sleeping after the late night and early morning, but we have all seven girls. I take my seat and wait for Parker and Payson to follow behind.

“Sorry,” Payson mutters after she bumps into Janelle. She ignores her and Payson slumps into her seat next to me.

It’s breaking my heart seeing her so upset. I cup her hand and place her bracelet inside. Her smile is small until she slips it on and holds our arms together, comparing our two bracelets. “I love it.”

“I love you.”

She blushes and bites her lip. My eyes fall to her lips, wishing I could capture them and hating that I can’t.

She settles in next to me and pulls out her phone. She offers me an earbud and when I say no, she offers it to Parker. They were watching Forrest Gump, but within the last thirty minutes of me working on my computer, they have fallen asleep. Her head on his shoulder and his head on top of hers. Half of me is jealous because that could never be us. The other half has my lips tilting because it’s nice to see them getting along.

Eventually I settle back into my chair, with a hand on her thigh, and I drift to sleep because Luca was right. The next few weeks will be bootcamp. Hell, if you will, but we have to win. We have all worked too hard not to.

47

Payson

Winning the last game of Week of Pink and bringing home the pink trophy might have been the highlight of my junior season. That was before we won states. States. I can’t believe it. States. I’m so proud of my team. Ever since we got back from Week of Pink, we have worked our asses off for this title, and we got it. This has been the longest volleyball season of my life, but at least it has paid off. My knee might be fucked and I might have a serious pill addiction now, but we did it.

I’m excited, obviously, but the pills keep me from registering the emotions. I meant to stop once we were back from Week of Pink, but practices only got harder. My knee was throbbing by the second practice even though Igor said the shot should last the rest of the season. Luca and Ash picked up on my limping, and I couldn’t risk them pulling me. I haven’t taken two pills at a time again, but I am up to one a day. I’m almost out and I guess that’s good. It doesn’t feel good, though.

“Murphy!” someone from my teams shouts and waves me over for the group photo. Ash looks worried but I ignore him and jog over to join my team.

My cheeks ache by the time they are done taking our photos. I’m adjusting my brace when a familiar set of court shoes stop in front of me. I’m nervous as I stand and meet the blue eyes of my best friend. It’s been weird the last two weeks not talking to her outside of volleyball-related things we couldn’t avoid at practice. We kept up being pepper partners, but we didn’t talk like we normally do. I’ve been eating lunch at school, Ash’s idea to eat as a team so we could bond, but Janelle never spoke a word to me.

“Congratulations,” I spit out. “Great way to end your final season.”

She flattens her lips and nods. I know that look, she’s about to cry.

“Jay—”

---