Page 137 of Leave Me Broken

I lick my lips and drop my spoon back into my bowl. No way I will be able to eat now. “Oh, uh, a few of the other girls on the team think he’s hot. You know, n-normal teenage girl stuff.”

Mike studies me for a long time, so long I start to sweat. A sheen of sweat coats my skin with his narrowed gaze on me. He drags his tongue along his bottom lip, debating whatever is going through his head and if he should say it out loud. When he’s about to say something else, I blurt the first thing I can think of to get him off my back.

“Janelle was dating his son.” How’s that bus feel, Janelle?

Mikes eyes pop open and he turns to his daughter. “You’re dating someone?” I know Mike is strict about his daughter dating. Which it really doesn’t matter since she lives with her mom, but he’s had strong feelings for years regarding this conversation, and it’s never been an issue because her relationship was always kept under wraps.

Janelle stutters over words before saying, “Ronni is dating her totally weirdo manager who is like sixty.”

Oh no.

Ronni’s face flames an angry red. “He’s forty-nine and he’s not weird.” She doesn’t even sound convincing and I’m high on pain medication.

“You’re high on pain medication?” Mike growls.

Oh my word. I slam my hand over my mouth.

“Uh, I, uh. I was, uh prescribed some for my knee.” Lies. Everything I say anymore is a lie.

“I didn’t know that,” Janelle says.

“I don’t share all my medical stuff with you.” I’m laughing but it falls on dead ears. The next ten minutes are spent in silence. I don’t think anyone finished their yogurt, we more or less just kept pushing it around in our bowls before Mike said it was time to go.

The three of us walk out with our heads hung low like a dog that’s been scolded. I’ve never felt this way before. Like I upset a parent. I’m not close with Mike, and I was literally making a joke about fucking him an hour ago, but he is giving off so much dad energy, I want to run away with my tail between my legs.

The car ride to the hotel isn’t any better either. Especially when he talks to all of us about our confessions. One at a time he runs through all of us. Janelle was a simple—no more dating and she didn’t argue or tell him they weren’t dating anymore because he’s a cheating bastard and she fucked his uncle less than twenty-four hours ago.

He tells Ronni she is eighteen, so can make her own decisions but he would advise against her dating her manager as mixing business and pleasure does not end well. Then he meets my eyes in the mirror until I turn my attention outside. “I’m going to hope there isn’t anything more going on as far as your coach goes, Payson. You are only seventeen.” I wish the car would swallow me whole. “As far as the pain medication. You need to be careful with them and tell the people around you when you are taking them in case you start acting out of sorts. You’re taking the prescribed amount, right?”

I nod. Yep, taking the amount the doctor prescribed to my mom. Plus an extra one, but that was just today. Only because I wanted to have fun tonight. And I did, until Janelle had to go and blow it.

“Alright, get out of my car. Go straight to your room and think about your decisions, girls, because even though you are young, they do, in fact, still matter.”

44

Payson

The three of us lie on Janelle’s bed, saying nothing and staring at the ceiling. We’ve been this way for an hour, since Mike dropped us off.

“I hate living in California,” Ronni says out of nowhere. “I hate being away from you guys and I really hate what we have become since I moved. It’s like we’re not a trio anymore. There’s you two and then there is me.”

“We miss you, Ron. But you cut us out, remember?” Janelle says.

“I know.” Ronni’s voice is small. “There’s just been . . . a lot going on.”

“Like what?” I ask.

She doesn’t answer right away and when she does, it’s too vague to even be considered an answer.

“Come on. Don’t lie to us,” I urge.

I drop my head to the side to look at Ronni. She looks back at me, offering the slightest wince. “I’m just struggling at fitting into this life. It’s harder than it was before. I miss when it wasn’t my whole life, you know?”

No, I don’t know. I love that volleyball is my whole life, and I’m worried what might come over me when the season is over.

“Why don’t you go back to what you were doing and come home?” I offer.

She blows out a breath, fluffing her bangs and turns her head to look back to the ceiling, so I do the same. “I’m in a contract for the next three years at least. Then I will decide what I want to do.”

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