Page 83 of Leave Me Broken

He tilts his head and continues washing my hair. “So should we head to the courthouse now, or tomorrow?”

Surprisingly my heart isn’t beating overly hard like it usually does when we talk about marriage—because it’s absurd, not because I don’t want it—but I’m just sedated enough to not freak out. “I want a spring wedding,” I mutter. “In England.”

I’ve never once thought about my wedding. I’ve thought about getting married but never what I want in a wedding. I’m not sure why that came out, but I don’t hate the idea.

“My mum will be thrilled to hear that.”

I let my eyes fall closed and I lean forward, resting my head on his hip and attempting to ignore his gigantic cock just to my left.

Ash strokes a hand over my head and back now that the soap is all gone and I’m showered.

“I’m so sorry about your mum, Jailbird.” I stiffen in his arms. I hadn’t been thinking about her but of course he would. We are talking about my wedding day. A wedding day that won’t have my mom. I said I never envisioned my wedding but like most little girls, I always assumed my mom would be there. For the first time since finding out about her death, a ping of sadness weighs on my heart. Like Ash knows that, he flips the water and grabs a large towel to wrap around me. While he dries, I stay seated on the bench, enjoying the heat from the towel.

“Come here, babygirl.” Ash carries me into Janelle’s room, his towel wrapped around his lap as he pulls me down to straddle him. I burrow into his chest and he rocks me. He moves back and forth and I can’t help but feel five again. It’s so nice. Weird, considering he’s my boyfriend and right now he feels like a lot more than that, despite his dick struggling under me.

“I know it’s not easy—your feelings for your mum—and I’m sure you are going to go through so many different stages. But I want you to know I’ll be here for all of them. Even when you want to push me away, I will be here.”

“I don’t want to push you away.”

“I know. But if you do, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

He has no clue what that means to me. I don’t want to push him away; I said volleyball was my lifeline today, but I think it might be Ash. Only he brings me the sense of calm I’ve never felt before.

Safe, he makes me feel safe. Grandpa’s house has a peacefulness about it. Janelle and even Ronni allow me to relax to a point, but Ashley Pearson knows me inside and out. He’s seen my worse—my arms—and my best—volleyball. I know as long as he’s around, I’m safe.

I’m loved.

Ash rocks me in that chair for a long time. So long I nearly fall asleep until his deep voice startles me. “Payson,”

“Hmm?”

His heart is rhythmically beating against my cheek and most of the reason I’m close to falling asleep. It’s so soothing. Now it roars quicker.

“Marry me.”

I don’t freak when he says it this time, I don’t even open my eyes and my lips stretch into a weak smile. “I just said I would.”

“No, now. Marry me now.”

He shutters when I press a kiss to his neck. He didn’t use soap in the shower, so he still smells like Ash.

“I said I wanted a spring wedding.”

His arms tighten around my body and he kisses the top of my head forcefully. “Fine. But it will happen this spring, Payson. I will not wait a year.”

Sure, sure. Whatever makes the big guy happy.

28

Payson

When we eventually emerge downstairs, the party is still going. I’m not exactly in party gear but after the hard-core cuddle session there was no way I was attempting to get ready. I could barely stay awake to get dressed, but Ash refused to let me stay upstairs and sleep so I’m here and wearing a pair of Janelle’s old basketball shorts and my volleyball sweatshirt. Ash even helped me braid my hair, said his mom taught him so he could braid his daughter’s hair someday. I thought that was cute, a little weird, considering he was braiding my hair—not his daughter—but it was still nice, and he did a good job. I ignore the ping in my heart about him having a daughter one day.

As we hit the steps, I spy Lauren heading our way and quickly drop Ash’s hand. I can tell by her surprised eyes that it’s too late. Frick frick frick.

“Where did you two disappear to?” she asks, an accusation heavy on her tone.

I glance back and cringe seeing Ash’s hair isn’t dry either. It doesn’t take a brainiac to know we obviously showered together and Lauren’s mom is close.

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