Page 112 of Touch in the Dark

He blows out a breath, like he was holding it in too long. “So, we’re in the Gang now.”

“The Couples,” I laugh against his shoulder, as I drop my forehead down.

“Archer is gonna lose his shit.”

“Right now, I couldn’t give two shits about Archer,” I sit back up.

“I’ve never done this before, Els,” he says quietly.

“Done what?” I ask, concerned. Is he having second thoughts already? I want to reassure him, tell him that he can do this, he is more than capable but he must come to that understanding, without me leading him.

“Told someone I love them.”

My mouth drops open. I wanted him to say those words, obviously. I just never thought they would come now. Tonight. I definitely never thought he’d say it before me.

“Shocked the thoughts right out of your brain?” Nick asks, after a few prolonged moments of stunned silence. “That was my dumb ass way of trying to tell you I love you, Elsa,” he stares at me. “Shit, are you in there?” he taps my forehead.

“Uh… Yeah I’m…”

He starts to look panicked, and I realise I just totally left him hanging there. He put himself out there for me. No one should say it expecting it to be returned. You feel the way you feel but it has taken a lot for him to say this. I totally do feel the same way about him.

“I love you!”

He leans back slightly. I did shout that a little too close to his ear.

“Sorry,” I cringe. “That was loud.”

“Never thought you’d be apologising for loving me,” he grins. “And thank you, for the gift, it’s fucking perfect. I can’t believe you got that for me. Can’t believe I never realised how well you know me, how you can see inside my heart when even I didn’t know how to do that.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” I sniffle, completely overwhelmed by this man.

“So long as they’re happy tears?” he asks, with a brow raised. “There have been enough sad tears around here. Let’s not do that anymore, yeah?”

I nod. He goes to kiss me again then stops and pulls back.

“Go brush your teeth,” he slaps my ass and bursts out laughing as he pushes me, so I fall back on the bed.

We get up early the next day to head back to New York. Nick didn’t ask too much about what happened when we found out he disappeared. I didn’t want to bring it up last night, after what we talked about and how exhausted he seemed. We didn’t go back downstairs to watch any more movies, Nick fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. He’s like a furnace but I didn’t want to wake him. He’d had a rough day. Really rough.

He didn’t need to know how everyone more or less lost their shit. Or that after going to Archer’s and finding out everything that happened, I’d done something stupid. I couldn’t hide that from him for much longer. We’re starting out fresh, our feelings for one another fully in the open. He needs to know that I went to speak to his father.

Jordan believed he’d been kidnapped by his psycho millionaire secret father and wanted to call the police. I explained that Derrick Atwater might be an asshole where his son is concerned, but he’s not a criminal psychotic lunatic.

Adam and Archer told us all not to panic, that he just needed time to think and will call us once he’s had some time. But the longer it went on with no word, everyone started to panic more. They hadn’t been able to track his cell phone because it was turned off and he didn’t take one of the band’s vehicles, which all have GPS trackers in too.

I went straight to Nick’s apartment and Archer told me everything that happened with Derrick, and I got mad. Really mad, which was why I left Nick’s, found out from my dad where Derrick was and then went to the office demanding to see him.

I stormed into that building, marched right up to his desk, and asked him what the hell he was thinking going to Nick like that. I never told him Nick was missing, he didn’t have the right to know about that, to worry about him the way we all were. He’d been surprised to see me but not surprised that I was there on Nick’s behalf. I got it then, how creeped out Nick felt. This investigator of Derrick’s had been spying on me too. Both the first time we dated and now.

“I never wanted to upset him, Elsa.”

I stood in front of the huge desk he was sitting behind, in his bespoke three-piece suit, his hair perfectly styled, but his hands were laying limply in his lap, the skin around his eyes was sagging and bruised with shadows that told of lack of sleep. I couldn’t feel sorry for him.

“Why would you just show up at his apartment like that?” I ask, still not taking the offered seat. I don’t intend to stay long.

“It was an impulse reaction to knowing he had been in LA, looking for me. I didn’t think he would reject me after he came looking.”

“He might have had someone look into you, but he didn’t come to you, Derrick. Did you not stop to consider it was a big deal for him finding out what he did about you? That he needed a minute or two to work through all of that before he faced you?”

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