Page 113 of Touch in the Dark

He had the good grace to look shamed. “I’ve lost him, haven’t I?”

“You never had him,” I say quietly. “That’s what you forgot. But he didn’t.”

“I know,” his head dips. “I did everything wrong.”

“I’m not the one you need to explain this to,” I interrupt him.

“Will he ever give me the chance to explain?”

I shrug. Because I don’t know. “And before you ask, I won’t help you. I love Nick and I will do anything I can to protect him and if that means coming here and telling you to stay the hell away from him,” I hold my hands out. I don’t like kicking him while he is down, but he needs to know he has no say in how this goes. “If Nick wants to come to you in the future, then that is his choice, but you have to stay away. You have to get that investigator to stop spying on him and reporting back to you.”

“It’s done,” he says.

“Good.”

I don’t really know what else to say to him. He rises to his feet, gathering himself up so he looks more like the man he was when I was a kid.

“I doubt he will ever want to speak to me, he told me as much. He wants to forget I exist. I’ll follow his wishes. If we never have… anything, I’ll live with that regret for the rest of my life.”

Its within my nature to want to soothe people when they’re hurting, and it takes a lot to keep quiet. My need to protect and love Nick, far outweighs any need to make this man feel better about what he has done. I don’t say anything else, I just leave. As I walk out, I see him grasp the edge of the desk with both hands and bow his head down. It makes my heart ache knowing these two men are hurting so badly but there is no way they can ever mend or create any kind of bond.

As we pull out of a drive-thru with some coffee and a bacon roll each, Nick parks up near the back of the lot, away from the road, so we can eat before we leave. There wasn’t any food in the house because he hadn’t been planning on staying there.

“Nick,” I say, picking at the plastic lid on my cup.

“Yeah,” he wipes his mouth after finishing his sandwich in about three bites.

“Before we leave, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay,” he turns in the seat so he is facing me better. He’d already made a joke about how big this car is, a very spacious rear seat too. “What’s up?”

I take in a deep breath and concern creases his brow as he watches me. I hope I’m not about to ruin everything. I’m not sure I can take it if he walks away now because of something I did this time. It’ll eat me alive if I don’t tell him though.

“I went to see Derrick.”

He doesn’t say anything, a deep line appears between his brows as he frowns even more.

“I was pissed at what he did, and I wanted to tell him to leave you alone,” I say, anger rising again at the nerve of the man. At his total disregard for Nick’s feelings. “I never told him anything about you because he doesn’t deserve or need to know anything about you, but I was so angry with him. He doesn’t get to hurt you, to hurt someone I love. And I told him he better stop having that investigator follow you and he should never have-”

Nick shuts me up with his mouth. I’m so surprised I almost drop my coffee. He kisses me for a few more seconds then pulls back.

“What was… I thought… You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be?” he asks, brushing my hair back behind my ear. “Apart from the guys, I’m not sure anyone has ever stood up for me like that before. Even if it is like a mouse standing up to a dragon,” he chuckles.

“Was not,” I say indignantly. Momentarily forgetting my shock that he isn’t annoyed with me for going to see his father. “I’ll have you know he listened. And he agreed. No more investigator and he’ll leave you alone… Unless you go to him.”

Nick runs a hand through his hair, a soft look on his face. “I may never want to do that. Right now, I don’t even want to think about it. But thank you,” he looks back at me. “I’m not mad. Not at you,” he strokes his thumb over my cheekbone and along my jaw. “Can we just leave all of this here, go back to New York and forget about it. It’s Christmas, we have Jordan and Sandy’s party tonight, and so much more stuff to look forward to.”

I nod, trying to hold back my tears. Nick laughs and kisses my eyelids, then forehead.

“You’re perfect Elsa, you’re my own personal ray of sunshine on the dark days,” he grins. “I’m so unpoetic, for a musician.”

“You’re doing okay,” I tell him.

“I want to make this work,” he says, turning serious. “I’m going to make this work,” he amends with a slight frown. “Are you sure you want to take the chance?”

I put my forefinger on my bottom lip and look upwards as if thinking. Nick laughs again and takes my coffee, setting it in the cup holder then kisses me again. Until I’m almost tempted to clamber into the backseat, but I know I’m not the only one who wants to see Nick is safe and sound. The rest of the band and his friends are waiting in New York for him. Nick pouts when I tell him so.

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