Page 69 of Duchess Material

“I am not, Lulu. I would.”

“You scare me,” Lucy said after a moment.

The look in her eyes was one of contemplation.

“I frighten you?”

“Yes, you do. You’re so sure. And… I can’t deny it. With you, I’m convinced I’m just as nuts as you are. I mean, what have you done to me, Winston? We’re surrounded by dogs!”

Winston realised they had five sets of eyes staring at them, likely expecting a treat.

“Dogs?”

“I don’t like dogs. Well, I didn’t like dogs. I swore I was not a dog person. And you were unfussed. You’re like ‘oh, you’ll get used to it’ and were convinced I would fall in love with them. I did. When I came here, I was a wreck. Perhaps, I still am? I dunno. I love these stupid dogs and I love you. I don’t have a doubt in my bones about it. Even when I thought I was pregnant, I still somehow assumed it would be okay.”

“That was mental.”

“It was. I cringe a little thinking about it. I know we’re only starting but… I’m so happy. I felt like a selfish bitch running headlong into Sandringham with you. Now? It feels like we made our peace. We’re a thing. Like it or leave it. I’ve never been so sure about someone. I wasn’t like this with George. I was being this version of myself… you don’t care for her, I don’t think.”

“I love the silly part of you,” Winston said. “I love the part of you that baby talks to the dogs and the girl who sings in the shower. I love the way your hair smells and the how you are anal retentive about the shoes in the entry.”

“So, you don’t think the not-pregnant-thing was some sign from the universe?”

Winston was confused. “What type of sign?”

“I felt like it might be punishing me.”

“That’s the Catholic guilt,” Winston laughed.

“Oh my God! It is!”

“Nah. I only think the universe wasn’t quite ready for it. I don’t think it’s forever, Lucy.”

“The universe wasn’t ready for it, yet.” She nodded and stood up, digesting.

“Where are you headed?” Winston asked.

“To give the dogs a treat and to get us some beer. We have more than earned it.”

Lucy was the future Winston wanted. He wasn’t sure if the dogs had sold him. He was sure Lucy loved him. He knew they had something. He’d been persistent enough. He was assured they would fall asleep that night together. It was a tremendous feeling.

Lucy returned with her canine followers. She made them all wait patiently for a treat and then shouted at them to go away, pretending she didn’t like them one bit. She did, though. She loved them all.

Lucy handed Winston a beer. “So, what do you think about freezing embryos?”

“What?” Winston wondered, taking a pull of the beer.

“Like if I was to go through all of this and then you contributed half?”

Winston almost choked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Well, it’s a thought experiment. I’m not saying I would bet on you.”

“I would say if you wanted to go that route, we should just have a kid, Luce. I mean, really, we’d be opening ourselves up to doing it ten years from now—”

“So, what is different? You don’t think we’ll be together in ten years?”

“I want the security anything I’m producing isn’t just… out there in the world,” Winston protested. “And I do think I will still have you in ten years. I think we’ll have a couple of kids, in fact. That’s why I think this is all silly.”

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