Page 162 of The Loathing

“It wasn’t out of love was it?” my mother snipes at him and my eyes widen as I reach for my water.

“Royal I swear to fucking lucifer,” he side eyes my mother and she shrugs her shoulders up. “Please, let me just speak,” he whines, and I can see how deflated he is becoming.

“Dad…” I say after a moment, “go ahead… tell us all your side of the story,” and I’m not being sarcastic or condescending, I want him to tell it. He has something to say so he should be able to tell us all what is on his mind.

“Thank you darling,” he smiles softly at me, and I feel my heart warm in my chest.

“The truth is… The Knight Brothers did want Amora because I killed their father. Rightly so, they wanted blood as I’m sure you would boys…” he pauses and turns his attention to Xander and Ezekiel and they both nod in agreement.

“Right,” he nods back, “but one day when I was trying to find anything to get them off the scent of Amora, I was approached by someone high up in the police force. I have never had dealings with them before, I’ve never had to. I was always clean in my job; I had people working for me so never got caught out… until Bartholomew Knight.” He stops for a moment, licking his top lip, wetting it.

“Please, continue,” my mother goads him but he ignores her.

“They wanted the Knight brothers; they came to me for help so I took that as an advantage. I gave Amora which in turn gave them The Knight Brothers. It wasn’t a decision that I made lightly, I lost a lot of sleep because I just didn’t see how the deal seemed fair or how it was going to help me. After a week, I met with them again and told them I would take the deal, but with that handshake went my job. They had everything on me. All the jobs, the clean ups… even your mate’s little problem with the rockstar was pulled up,” he gazes at Titus for a moment. “They used blackmail and promised that I wouldn’t see the inside of a jail cell if I agreed to help them. My slate would be wiped clean. So, I took it. Too much hung over me, over us as a family and I hate that I somehow got each and every one of you involved and wrapped up in this lifestyle. Before I met my wife…” he looks at my mother with so much adoration I feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes, “I didn’t care for anything, but as soon as I fell in love, everything shifted somehow. The jobs just didn’t become jobs anymore. Each life I took laid as a heavy burden on my shoulders knowing I had taken a father, a mother, a child, a grandparent… I had blood on my hands, and it didn’t matter how much I tried to get it off, I couldn’t. I was tarnished with death.” He sighs and his body turns to face me, his arms stretched across the table, and I placed my hand over his.

“I’m sorry that I had to use you as the pawn in this fucked up game of chess, but it needed to be done. I knew I wanted Titus here; I knew he would go above and beyond to look out for you because he was a father himself…” my father’s warm glare turns ice cold as he focuses on Titus. “Yet I didn’t expect him to knock you up then marry you,” he grits, and I hear Xander cough and Ezekiel spits his wine out all over the table.

“What!?” they both say in unison and my eyes widen.

“Surpriseeee,” I say in a high tone and force a smile on my face.

“Focus guys,” my father rolls his eyes in an over exaggerated manner and bangs his hand on the table, so everyone looks at him again.

“The plan was for the police to grab Wolfe from the church and deal with him. We managed to get Hunter on side from the very beginning. He wasn’t made for that life; he wasn’t cut from the same cloth as Wolfe and Bartholomew. He was different. He was kind and wanted to help. If everything had gone to plan,” my father pauses and side eyes Titus, “Amora was never going to be in any real danger because Hunter was always going to be our eyes and ears whilst she was there. I just needed Titus there as a just in case. I just never expected him to kill his brother… well, so we thought.”

The colour from my face drains and I feel nauseous suddenly.

“When the police went and searched the place, Wolfe’s body was missing.”

I watch as Titus stiffens in his seat, he swallows hard.

“So is Wolfe still out there?” The panic is evident in my voice.

“Honestly?” my father says softly, “I have no idea, but we just need to focus on what is here and now. This hasn’t been easy, and it was a well-executed plan until good old Titty here,” my father leans over and smacks Titus hard on the back causing him to nearly cough up a lung, “had to interfere and fuck up the plan. Didn’t you?”

Titus puffs out his cheeks, sitting tall in his chair.

“But,” my father finally averts his gaze, “all that matters is that you’re here, you’re safe and I am so fucking sorry for putting you through literal hell. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me, but please know Amora, darling… I would have burned the fucking world to ashes to get you back from him. It was all a ploy, and it worked but I am sorry that you were used as bait.” And I can see how crushed he is, his voice cracks and his eyes glass over.

“Daddy,” I whisper, my voice trembling as I stand up and throw my arms around his shoulders as he still sits down, holding onto him as I whisper into his ear, “I forgive you.”

He sniffs, curling his arm up and placing his hand on my shoulder as we stay in the position.

I slowly stand and my father’s eyes fall to my stomach.

“And I’m so glad this little one didn’t get harmed, because I was ready to rip Wolfe from limb to limb if he even tried,” and I stiffen when I hear Titus clear his throat.

“What?” my father growls.

“That’s why I fought him… he tried to…” Titus coughs and shuffles in his seat. My father says nothing but knows exactly what Titus is getting at and I feel a cold shiver blanket me. “Hunter handed me the knife, I stabbed him, but he still got back up and he just fell to the floor…”

My father’s eyes close and I see him inhale slowly.

“Did you check to see if he was actually dead?” My father asks and Titus pales.

“There was so much blood… I assumed…” he leans back in his chair and my eyes pin to the man I love. “I just wanted to get to Amora, I wanted to be waiting for her at the top of the aisle…” he shakes his head from side to side as if disappointment is currently eating him up inside.

“Titus,” my father’s voice is soft, “don’t beat yourself up over this. You done the right thing, you done your job… you protected Amora.” He gives a small smile. “Thank you, son,” he slowly nods at Titus and I take that as my cue to step back, taking my place next to my husband.

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