Page 34 of The Loathing

“Yes, a daughter, Arizona,” I smile, “she’s twenty-one.”

“That’s wonderful, what is she like?” she continues and gestures for me to sit back down on the sofa, she sits opposite me on a matching chesterfield.

“She is smart and beautiful, she is in med school…” my own pride is beaming from me now, I can’t wipe the smile from my face. “She wants to be a doctor.”

“Wow, and so young to be accepted into med school,” Royal chimes.

“Over achiever—was two years ahead of her class.”

“Smart girl,” Xavier pipes up, “I’m assuming she gets that from her mother,” and he smirks, giving me a wink and my smile slips for just a moment, but long enough for Royal to notice. I can see the concern on her face as she studies me.

“It’s only me and Arizona, I raised her myself,” and I swallow the bile that is clawing its way up my throat, burning my windpipe and I cough, trying to rid of the reminder of her betrayal. There is no way Xavier didn’t know about Sharon. That was just an easy hit for him. I know he knows everything there is to know about me.

“Oh,” I hear Royal say, and I can feel Xavier’s eyes burning into me but I don’t pull my eyes from Royal. I can see the sadness on her face.

“I don’t want your pity,” my tone comes out a little harsher than I intended, “I know it’s easy to give, but I honestly don’t need it. It’s been twenty-one years, she didn’t want to be part of mine and Arizona’s life and I am happy with that.”

“That’s very brave of you,” Royal gives a small smile.

Silence fills the room for a moment, “Has my husband offered you a drink, Titus?”

I shake my head from side to side.

“Xavi,” she swats him on the arm and he scoffs a laugh, “Sorry about his tardiness, would you like one?”

“No, thank you,” I smile at her, and sit back on the sofa.

“So, you have a daughter and I am assuming you understand the seriousness of this issue we’re having?” She asks.

“Very much so, it’s the reason I took the job,” my eyes move from Royal, to their sons who haven’t taken their eyes off me and finally, my eyes land on Xavier. “The thought of Arizona going through something like this makes my blood run cold,” I swallow thickly, rubbing my clammy hands together.

“At least we’re all on the same page…” she waits a beat before speaking again. “Xavi,” Royal turns to face her husband and I can’t help but wonder why it’s her asking all the questions.

“Red,” his eyes sweep across to her, his fingers trailing across the top of her shoulders, and she leans into him.

“Can you go and get Amora please? I think it’s best we go out the room whilst you are both introduced and once that is done, we can get down to business.”

“I agree,” Xavier’s deep voice echoes around the room and I suddenly feel nervous again.

They stand and begin to walk towards the door before Royal stops and turns to face me once more, “Thank you for accepting our job offer, Titus,” but before I can reply, she is gone.

I am sat alone for a while and I feel a little at a loss. I stand, pacing towards the back of the library to see a little nook in the corner where there is a tan leather high back chair, a small side table and wuthering heights sitting on the surface. I skim my fingers over the cover of the book before opening it up, turning the first page and seeing a handwritten note.

Red,

Forgive me for ruining your favourite book.

This is a first edition.

I love you with every fibre of my body.

Forever and always,

Your Xavier.

My lips pull at the corners at the note and I let the cover close before my eyes roam over the smaller bookcase that sits next to the chair. There are so many copies of the same books; first editions, second editions, limited covers, movie covers… Royal has them all. My eyes fixate on the authors as I let them sweep over the books.

Jane Austin.

---