Page 82 of Doctor I Do

I feel nervous walking into the wedding dress store. My wedding with Alex is feeling real. I should hate the fact I’m making Alex marry me—but I don’t. In fact, I’m beginning to really fall for him. Every day, I’m going to work, a job that I don’t hate, and then coming home to him, and it’s changing my life. A life that was so unfulfilling is now filling with a newfound happiness. And I have him and Emerald Designs to thank.

The nervous energy I’m feeling in the shop is about me unable to find a dress he’ll like. I want to see his face transform when I walk toward him.

“This brings back so many memories,” Alice coos as she touches the fabrics of different wedding dresses.

My heart is in my throat, and I feel too scared to touch them. My mind is spinning in panic. I haven’t seen or spoken to any of my friends since I slept with Alex.

I told them to meet me earlier than my mom. I need to get it off my chest. They already know the wedding isn’t real, but are happy to participate, but now things aren’t so fake. Well, my feelings definitely aren’t.

The vulnerability of his confession last night and his soft touches make me admire the man who most people wouldn’t know. And I see why Alice always wanted me and Alex together. But it wasn’t the right time. Until now…

“Can I tell you guys something before my mom gets here?” I walk toward the center sofa and away from the dresses.

Maybe that’s why I can’t touch them. Too much turmoil running through me to enjoy the process.

“What’s up?” Maddison asks, taking a seat beside me.

“Tell us what's going on,” Alice says.

“You fucked him, didn’t you?” Blake blurts.

My eyes go wide, but my mouth parts on a laugh. I have missed my friends.

“You so did,” Maddison adds.

My eyes look at Alice, who has a funny expression taking over her face. “What?” I ask.

Even though I know it’s the I told you so face.

“Nothing. I’m waiting to hear what you’ve got to say,” she argues innocently.

“We all are!” Maddison says loudly.

“Shhh! Calm down. For fuck’s sake, let her speak.” Blake spits.

“So, Maddy, you know how we went to the shop the other day?” I whisper. “A sex shop.”

“No,” Blake gasps, his hand covering his shocked mouth.

“She did,” Maddison says, with a look of pride.

“We did,” I correct her. But they don’t bat an eyelid at me telling them she came. They’d expect that from her.

“Anyway, I bought some stuff. I’m not explaining that in detail, so don’t even ask. He came home, and yeah, let’s say, we crossed the friendship line.” Suddenly, I’m embarrassed about what they’re imagining now. This conversation is a lot for me.

“Fucked his brains out, didn’t you?” Blake rubs his hands together.

I roll my lips, refusing to spill my dirty secrets. Even as the vision of me riding him flashes in front of my eyes.

“This makes marrying him a little interesting,” Alice says with a smug look.

“I don’t know how to feel. I’m nauseous being in here.” I touch my stomach, trying to ease the flutters.

“Aww, sweetie, that's nerves,” Blake says, reaching out to rub my arm.

“I’d say we can cancel, but with the timeline for this, you can’t,” Alice says with a small shuffle forward to me.

I suck in a deep, cleansing breath and stand, shaking off the strange feeling. “Let’s start looking and maybe that’ll help?” I say to my friends, who all look at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Come on.” I walk away and hear their steps behind me.

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