Page 34 of Calculated Chaos

I take a seat, gazing around the space at the black walls with all sorts of ropes and sex toys lining them. Pictures of naked men in bondage fill other walls, and I find it visually appealing. I’ve never looked at another man like art before, but I see how it can be hot.

“Uh, hi.”

The familiar voice has me standing up from my seat. “Holl.”

His cheeks bright red, he nods. “Awkward.”

I laugh, pulling his wrist to get him to sit next to me. “This is… comical. Guess we both had the same idea.”

“Explore what we experienced without telling our best friend and roommate so we wouldn’t make it weird or make them feel obligated to join?”

“That’s it.” I bump his arm with mine. “We’re dorks.”

He turns and looks at me. “Yeah. Should I sit somewhere else?”

“Don’t be dumb. I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad you’re here too.”

“Hey, gays, theys, and curious baes.” A man up front grabs our attention with his greeting. He looks exactly how I imagined a Dom would look, with jet black hair, a thick beard, muscles, tattoos, and leather pants with a harness around his chest. “Welcome to Dom, Sub, or Switch. Get comfortable as we spend the next hour discussing and demonstrating the dynamics of safe play, the different roles, and of course, the sexiness of consent and communication. I’m your host, Damon. My assistants tonight are Rick, Jace, and Everly.”

Everly is interesting. He’s a tall, kind of chubby man with a black collar around his neck. He’s ginger, and even from here I can see the marks the collar is making on his skin. My stomach does a little flip in reaction. I guess this is going to be interesting.

The men start a discussion of simple glossary terms, explaining each and asking the audience if they have experiences or questions to share. My nerves calm a little when I see that most of the men in the room are just as new to this as we are.

Damon launches into talking about Doms, with Rick and Jace chiming in. Okay, good to know that looks can be deceiving. Petite and feminine Jace is a Dom. But that assumption is once again challenged by a question from the group.

“You’re a Dom?” a man in the front row asks Jace, his tone incredulous.

“Glad you asked,” Damon says.

Jace laughs, putting a hand on his hip. “I’m a switch, darling. I’m whatever you want me to be.”

“Can you explain more about what that is?” another man asks.

Damon nods at Jace to explain. “Of course. So, story time. When I was a wee lad stepping into the big world of BDSM, I assumed, as I’m sure most of you did, that I would be a happy little subby pillow princess, and honey, I am definitely suited for that role,” Jace says.

Soft chuckles spread throughout the room.

“But I met a man who just loved to be dominated by someone smaller than him. So we gave it a try and I took to it like gays take to iced coffee. I learned that in the right circumstances, I’m happy in both roles, although my preference is to sub.”

The man nods, whispering to his partner.

When I dare glance at Hollister, he’s chewing his bottom lip, his hands in his lap, and I wonder if he’s sporting the same semi I am. Is it the talk of all this sex stuff, or is it really that I’m turned on by the man sitting next to me, his breath hitching periodically, the heat of his body warming mine.

As the discussion shifts to a demonstration, I watch, transfixed, as Rick puts Everly on his knees, tugging his collar and making demands that Everly eagerly complies with. I don’t know the answer to many of the questions running around my head right now, but I know without a doubt that I want to see someone in a collar at my feet, and dammit, I want that someone to be Hollister.

I want his hazel eyes gazing up at me, obediently waiting for the next command. I want his breath to hitch when I tell him he’s so good for me. I want… Fuck. What is happening right now?

“Could we get a volunteer from the audience?” Jace asks, startling me out of my strange fantasy.

Several men raise their hands, but I end up on my feet. Jace’s gaze settles on me as a sexy smirk spreads across his face.

“Come on up, Axel.”

I glance at Hollister, his face revealing nothing, and I have to fight back the urge to grab his wrist and bring him with me. When I get to the front, Jace stands behind me, squeezing my shoulders, and whispering, “Relax.”

I nod, attempting to swallow, even though my throat feels like a desert.

---