Page 35 of Calculated Chaos

“Do you know how you might identify so far?” Damon asks, while Rick hovers with a crop in his hand.

“Dom,” I answer, my voice slightly breaking.

“Don’t be nervous,” Jace whispers again. “You’re safe here.”

I nod, licking my dry lips.

Damon hands me the end of Everly’s leash, instructing me to follow my instincts, but I just stand there, unsure of what to do. As my gaze darts over the crowd, settling on Hollister, warmth spreads through me. All I have to do is relax and let my brain take me where it wants to go with this.

I tug the leash, and Everly’s cheeks flush as he kneels at my feet. I gaze down at him, but I see Holl, my best friend, eagerly waiting to please me. So those are the words that leave my lips.

“Please me.”

Everly presses his hands to my thighs, rising on his knees, and dragging his tongue over the bulge in my jeans.

“Good boy,” I whisper, knowing somewhere deep inside me that these words belong to Holl. “You’d do anything to make me happy, wouldn’t you?”

“Anything, sir,” Everly says. “I’m yours.”

“Mine,” I whisper. “You always have been.”

Everly’s eyebrows twitch, but he doesn’t break character. “Maybe you could spank me for being so good?”

“I think you’ve earned it.”

Everly crawls to a chair set up by the cross. I follow him, still on autopilot as I let this side of myself out. I sit and Everly scrambles over my lap, his large body nearly overwhelming mine. Someone hands me a leather paddle.

“Don’t forget to ask for a safeword,” Damon says from behind me.

“What’s your safeword, boy?” I ask Everly.

“Red, sir.”

“Red it is. How many spanks should you get?”

“Five really hard ones.”

“Is that what you think you deserve?”

Everly whimpers. “If it’s okay with you, sir.”

My eyes settle on Hollister, watching me with hooded eyes. Does he want to be the one on my lap as much as I want him to be? Am I legitimately attracted to my best male friend or is this just some kind of weird bonding experience? How do I find out?

“Go ahead,” Damon says, nodding his head in encouragement.

I bring the paddle down on Everly’s leather-clad ass. He hisses and moans, but in my head, it’s Hollister’s voice I hear. Hollister’s weight on my lap. Hollister’s fists clenching the leg of my jeans.

I do it again, noting how Hollister flinches. Even in the somewhat dim lighting, I can see the pink of his cheeks, and I swear I can hear his breath hitch. It’s like no one else is here but us.

And then he’s on his feet, walking towards me and peeling off his shirt, then his jeans, and finally kneeling before me. His hands move to my thighs, squeezing gently as he whispers, “Use me. Overpower me, Ax. I want it to be you.”

My cock twitches violently, snapping me out of the wild fantasy. As I look around, Hollister is still in his seat and this stranger is still on my lap. I turn to Jace. “I…” I shake my head.

“It’s okay,” Jace whispers, and suddenly Everly is gone and Jace is kneeling in front of me. “You want to try it with your friend?”

I nod, my throat tight. Jace thankfully takes charge, twisting around to face the group, and I watch him get Hollister to the front of the room. It’s all so out-of-body, like it’s happening to someone else, but as Hollister’s eyes meet mine and I see the tension fall away from him, my cock swells, desperate to feel the weight of his body across my knees.

Hollister climbs onto my lap, his hands and knees on the floor, supporting him. He’s trembling.

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