Page 47 of Calculated Chaos

“Do we still want to try the club?”

“I do, but if you want to wait—”

“No.” I shake my head. “I want to go.”

“Okay then. Let’s sign up.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Hollister climbs off my lap, making me want to grab him and put him back, but I let him go. As I click the membership link on the website page, I glance at him, and my heart sinks. For all his words of confidence, doubt lingers on his face.

I hope we’re not making the biggest mistake of our lives. I couldn’t survive losing him.

Chapter Twenty

HOLLISTER

Stepping into Chaos this time carries a weight with it that’s impossible to ignore. Between what it means for me individually and what potential impact this could have on my relationship with Axel, it’s… a lot. But for the first time in maybe forever, I didn’t choose the safe route. I chose the chaotic one, and damn, I hope I didn’t fuck up.

As members, we’re not met by anyone and are free to enter the club and explore. The downstairs nightclub area is filled with people, pulsing lights, and loud music. Men of all types stand around the bar, sit together in booths, or writhe on the dance floor. The air around us is electric and crackling with sex.

“Do you want to get a drink here first?” Axel asks, standing close to be heard over the music.

“No. I want to go upstairs.”

He smiles. “Yeah, me too.”

As we walk to the secret elevator, I remind myself to breathe so I don’t pass out. I thought the background checks would take a while, but they only took a few hours and now here we are. The elevator doors open and we step on, scanning our new passes to select the correct floor.

Axel’s body next to mine is a much-needed anchor, and I lean into him until the doors open again and we step out right into an erotic scene on stage. Two men, very naked, roll around sensually, covered in what looks like some kind of oil. It’s not sexual, more sensual as their bodies slip and slide into different positions.

Axel grips my hand like he’s holding on for dear life. “Damn. That’s hot.”

Swallowing the dryness in my mouth, I nod. “They sure know what they’re doing here.”

Axel chuckles, leading me down the hall to the dungeons. We study the sign-up log but the room isn’t booked for another two hours. Which means we can go in now.

“Are we doing this together or apart?” I ask.

“Together,” Axel answers quickly. “No way do I want to do this with someone else.”

I nod, relieved by his answer. “Same.”

“Gentleman.” We both turn to see Jace walking toward us. “What a pleasure to see you again. Taking advantage of the dungeon?”

“We are,” Axel says, grabbing my hand possessively.

“Great,” Jace says, glancing at our hands with a smirk. “We have free rooms, or you can wait for a scheduled time with a master.”

“Free room,” Axel says.

“Well then, have fun, boys.” Jace winks and saunters away, swinging his hips as he does.

We enter the dungeon together and stand near the doorway, looking at the setup. All the toys are out, the table with condoms and lube, the furniture. My body heats as soon as I see the barrel, remembering how it felt to be draped over it.

“Do you know where you want to start?” Axel asks, his voice weirdly husky.

“Yep. That.” I point to it, even as my hand shakes. “I want…” The words fall away as soon as I realize what I’m about to say.

---