Page 48 of Calculated Chaos

“Tell me, Holl.”

“I want you to, um, to…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “To spank me.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s do that.”

“Okay.” I turn to face him. “Should we, um, change or something?”

“Do you want to get naked?”

I nod, even though my cheeks blaze with heat.

“Okay.” Axel puts his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s just agree that this is a safe space for us. We can be whatever we want or need in here.”

“Yeah. I agree. I’m just excited.”

Axel’s tongue flicks across his bottom lip as his eyes heat. “Yeah? You want to be spanked like a bad boy?”

“Oh fuck. Yes. I don’t want to be bad. I want to be good.”

“For who?”

“For you, sir.”

“Prove it.”

Um, okay, where the hell did this beast come from? I don’t dare ask, too desperate to keep this going before either of us chickens out. I practically tear my clothes off while Axel is far more chill, tugging his shirt over his head but leaving his jeans in place.

Once I’m down to my briefs, I instinctively put my hands over the growing bulge, but Axel clicks his teeth.

“Don’t hide yourself from me, Holl. You’re too pretty for that.”

Pretty? A full body shiver rattles through me as I drop my hands.

“Briefs too.”

My breath catches but I nod, sliding them from my body.

“Mmm, look at you,” Axel says, his eyes roaming over my naked body. “I like looking at you.”

“I like it too.”

He steps toward me, his expression turning stern. “Why are you getting spanked?”

“I, um, I think that—”

“Uh-uh,” he interrupts. “Be confident in your words. Tell me why you need this, Holl.”

I let his question bounce around my head until an answer comes to me. “I’ve been too good for too long for the wrong reasons.”

“Yeah? Tell me about that.”

“I followed all the rules, did what was expected, but it’s led to so much disappointment. I want to learn to be good for the right reasons. My reasons.”

A slight smile pulls at his lips. “So you want me to be the one to do it?”

“Only you. Free me from the past and this boring existence. Teach me who I really am. Show me who you see when you look at me.”

“Damn. I’m so proud of you.”

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