Page 92 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

“Now.”

As Knightly drove through the city, I felt like a veil had been lifted and I didn’t like what it revealed about me. Both Carl and Samantha had called me a saint, but I was nowhere near that. I’d had something dear and precious, and I’d cavalierly given it away out of my own pride and fear. Not once, but twice. It would be a fucking miracle if Samantha forgave me and was willing to take a chance on me.

29

Samantha

The soundness of my sleep was interrupted by my phone ringing. I looked at the clock beside my bed. Nearly four in the morning. Who was calling so early? I checked the caller ID. Henry.

"Hello?"

"Samantha. It's Henry. I... I need to talk to you."

I sat up, trying to dislodge the fog of sleep. “Is something wrong?"

"Can we speak in person? I'm actually right outside your door."

What? "Outside my door? What's going on, Henry? It's the middle of the night."

“I know. I’m sorry. This can’t wait.”

I sighed. "Okay, give me a minute." I trudged out of bed and put on my robe, wrapping it tightly around me. I headed downstairs to the front door, opening it a crack. Henry stood on the stoop, blowing air on his exposed hands. Why hadn’t he worn gloves? For a moment, I wondered if maybe he’d been drinking.

“Hi.”

I stared at him, wondering what the heck was going on. The chill of the night hit me and I stepped back. "Come in quickly, it's freezing out there."

"Thank you." He entered.

"Is Victoria okay?" I couldn’t think of a reason Henry would be here so late... or early... unless something was wrong.

"Victoria and Hank are both fine.” His face turned dreamy. “He’s beautiful, Samantha.”

“Oh. He’s here. Congratulations.” My happiness for Henry and Victoria was genuine, as was my sadness that I wouldn’t be able to celebrate motherhood with her.

"I just... seeing him today, it reminded me of when Victoria was born. And how I missed Pax's birth."

I recoiled from him. “Is that why you’re here? You felt the need to remind me again of what an awful person I am? It couldn’t wait until the sun was up?”

He shook his head. “No. Not at all. In fact, I’m here to grovel. I’m the one who is awful.” He closed his eyes like he was searching for words.

“Do you want to come and sit down? I can get you something to drink if you’d like.”

He took a step closer to me, but not so close that he was in my personal space. “I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m a selfish man and I made you feel like nothing, like nobody, and I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to make that up to you.”

I studied him, wondering about the change in attitude.

“I knew I hurt you when I sent you away five years ago. I didn’t want to, and I thought by finding you a great job that I made up for that. But that was just my justifying what I did.”

I crossed my arms over my chest to protect myself because his words were warming my heart and I couldn’t afford to let him in again.

“I did worry about Victoria and the business, but the truth was, you weren’t nothing, you were everything and it scared me to death. I’d never been in love. I’d never felt helpless against my emotions. You changed all that, and instead of grabbing hold of you, I sent you away. I’m so sorry, Samantha.”

Pax once said that when someone said they were sorry, the proper response was “that’s okay,” but it didn’t feel okay. “I understand.”

He blew out a breath, and I figured this was where he’d say, “But...”

“I know why you didn’t tell me you were pregnant. God... I brought this on myself.” He cocked his head to the side, looking at me with anguish in his eyes. “Did you consider it?”

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