Page 11 of In Bed with the Enemy

I nodded my head slowly, but the child in me couldn't help the question that slipped out of my lips. "But, what about the birds?"

"Fuck the birds," my father said unwaveringly and it startled me. I hadn't ever really heard him swear before. "What about the stockholders?"

"What are stockholders?" I asked.

"They're the people that believe in our business so that we can continue to operate so that you can continue to have nice things. Do you think the birds are paying for your toys, Ethan?"

I shook my head.

"It's the company first, Ethan. Always the company first. Repeat it."

I was silent for a moment. I wanted to do what my father told me to do, but the words wouldn't leave my lips.

I felt the impact across my cheek, followed by the familiar burning sensation before I'd even had a chance to realize that my father had raised a hand to me. Harrison woke up at the sound and tears filled my eyes, but this had happened enough times that I knew not to let them fall. That only made him angrier.

"Repeat it." My father's stern voice echoed across the room.

"The company comes first," I said.

Present

I watched the tears stream down her cheeks at my words, and then I watched her turn and flee from my room. I wanted to chase her. Every fiber of my being wanted to follow her through the door.

Tell her I really was a bastard.

That I didn't want to behave this way.

That I'd been forced into it since I was a small child.

That I had no other choice and that I felt helpless in my circumstances.

But, I didn't do any of that. I stayed rooted to the spot. I let the door slam behind her. Heard the chime of the elevator and her quiet sobs before the silence filled the room and pressed against my ears once again.

I thought back to the way my father had raised me and my brother. About how he'd quite literally shamed me for any thought that I had growing up that wasn't directly "profitable," as he called it. I'd resented my father for the longest time. Vowed I would do something about it when he was gone and no longer in charge. It's why I'd been sure that Amy had been offered a job when she'd graduated from college.

I'd been researching people who were making headway in renewable energy. Her thesis for her Master's degree had been extremely promising. She was one of the few that I'd hand-picked to be on the new research and development team, the same exact team that she'd likely overheard me discussing with Harrison on the phone. I'd been truly disappointed when she'd turn down the company's offer.

And then, when my father finally did pass away, and I thought that I could take things in a different direction, I found out that I had very little control over the company I supposedly headed. Decisions are so rarely made at the top, despite what people really think. Smaller decisions are made at the lower levels and what ends up being presented to the final decision maker is a carefully constructed choice between essentially the same two options. It was all very frustrating and devastating and I was still trying to figure my way through it.

I knew what Amy must have thought. She must have thought that I had done what I had done in retaliation for her not taking the offer. Or, if not that, that my actions were truly only motivated by my lust for money. She couldn't be further from the truth.

I let myself fall backwards onto the bed. I thought back to the way her fist had felt against my chest. About the look of shock, she had on her face when I covered her fingers with my own. How good it had all felt to be in the presence of someone who actually understood what it was I wanted to do, even if she didn't understand any of it.

I wanted to get closer to her. I wanted her to be someone I could trust. I desperately wanted to confide in her. I hadn't intended for any of this. But, then she had waltzed into my hotel suite like she owned the place and from that moment on I'd just continued to fall deeper and deeper into whatever this pile of mud was for her.

I gritted my teeth and ran my hands down my face. I had a goal at this conference. It might not have been totally aligned with what Harrison thought I was doing here, but that was okay. I needed to get the industry on board with Standard leading the pack on renewable energy projects. It was the only way any of this was going to work.

As well thought out Amy's invention was, her company just simply didn't have the infrastructure to implement it on a wide level. And, even if they did, it wouldn't do a damn thing to make an actual difference on this earth when you still had companies as big as Standard doing what they were doing. So, I needed to get people to support the shift, but my company had to be the one to lead it. That was the only way real change was going to happen.

I took a deep breath, forced myself to control my breathing, and then got up and made my way over to the conference table in the corner of the room. I pulled out my laptop and got to work perfecting the presentation I was scheduled to deliver tomorrow.

9

AMY

"At this point, I really just want to go home," I said to my friend through the phone. I was laying down on my hotel bed with my cheek pressed against the phone so I didn't have to support it with my hand. I was pretty much over everything.

"Don't say that," Michelle chided me from the other side of the line. "You were so looking forward to this conference."

---