Page 16 of Losing The Vampire King

But I don’t feel like that. The darkness is oppressive. Something is looming over us all, like a dagger hanging on a thin piece of thread, and someone is about to cut it. I shudder at the very thought, looking around.

I’ve reached the lake. This is where I saw him last time. This is where he almost attacked me. The memory is almost too painful to even think about, but I have to stay strong. I press at the small satchel around my waist, where the tea is. I have no idea how I will do this. He almost attacked me last time. How on earth will I make him drink something? I almost laugh loudly at the ridiculousness of the situation.

I walk over to the lake, lowering myself to the water. I touch it with the tips of my fingers, feeling the scorching chilliness almost paralyze me instantly.

Then, I hear a rustling noise in the bushes. I jump back up, looking around. My entire body is tight, ready to attack if necessary. I know there are wild animals in these woods as well, but they rarely come down to the lake. They prefer to stay in the higher areas.

“Kano, is that you?” I call out, thinking that perhaps Kano changed his mind about going to the other side with the rest of his group.

I listen intently to any possible reply, but there is nothing other than the heavy sound of my own breathing. My eyes have grown accustomed to the darkness already, although the moon is bright. I see the paths clearly. I see the trees, the bushes. But the shadows are something that cannot be seen. That is where monsters lurk. I’ve learned this before.

Monsters always lurk in the darkness. However, the worst monsters lurk where you least expect them to be. They hide behind the faces of those you thought would love you and protect you. That is what I thought the skin walkers were once, a long time ago. I thought they were my family. I thought they took me in, to take care of me and protect me. But I was wrong. They thought I betrayed them, and without even clearing up that horrible misunderstanding, they were all too eager to do away with me.

For some reason, I think of Gala. I haven’t thought of her in a long time. She is partly responsible for what happened, and even now, a part of me regrets that I didn’t teach her a lesson, which she so desperately needed. I let her go easy. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

My mother tried to remind me that we always need to show mercy, even and maybe especially towards our enemies. Sometimes, that is true. But sometimes, mercy is just another way of allowing your enemies to get another chance to attack you. Most of the time, your enemies see mercy as a weakness. They think you are weak, and they use this against you.

Eddie has taught me that mercy isn’t a weakness, although throughout my entire life with the skin walkers, I believed that I had to be tough and brave, to be feared and respected in order to deserve my place among them. It was difficult to live up to such expectations, because they were not my own. I never thought mercy was weakness.

I shake my head quickly, trying to banish such thoughts. Gala doesn’t deserve a single thought inside my mind, after what she’s done to us. I don’t want to think about her ever again. Right now, I have to focus on finding Eddie and bringing him back home safely.

I look around the lake, which seems peaceful, undisturbed. I wonder if it will beckon him to come here, to find me. If he does come here, will he try to attack me again?

I’m almost overcome by tears. The feeling is so powerful, I drop down to my knees and press my hands to my chest. I’ve never known such pain before. I never knew that your heart could ache to such an extent that you want to rip it out of your chest and throw it away, because you can’t handle the pain and the anguish.

I remind myself that I need to remain strong. Orien is counting on me to bring Eddie home. I have to find him, and I have to do whatever it takes.

At that moment, I hear a noise behind me. I stumble back on my feet, my hope rising all the way to the heavens themselves, but the moment my eyes lock with Kano’s, those same hopes are dashed against the shores of crushing reality.

“Nothing?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “There’s still one part of the woods we haven’t covered,” he adds. “We’ll go there now. But, if he’s not there, then…”

He doesn’t need to continue for me to know what he means. Then, our options have all been exhausted. We won’t know where to look for him. The worst thing is that he could be anywhere. He could have been taken anywhere in the world and we might never be able to find him again.

I try not to think about that. There is still hope. There is always hope, as long as you want to believe, and there is nothing more I want than having him back home.

“Do you want to come with us?” Kano asks, his voice tender.

I know this must be as difficult to him as it is to me. They are best friends, after all. Almost like brothers. Kano has saved Eddie’s life. He was willing to die for him. Eddie always said how fortunate he considered himself to be with such loyal and loving people around him.

“I think I’ll stay here a little while longer,” I tell him, looking away from him and at the lake. “This is his favorite place. I keep hoping that he might come here, that he might remember me despite everything.” My voice trails off. It’s becoming more and more difficult to stay positive.

Kano approaches me and takes me by the hand. He squeezes it.

“Don’t lose hope,” he smiles at me. “Never lose hope.”

“I won’t,” I smile back. “Thank you. I needed that reassurance.”

“If there is even the slightest chance of him finding his way back to our clan, back to you, Edmund will find it. You know he will. Nothing will stop him.”

I let those words sink in. I know he means it from the bottom of his heart, and that makes me appreciate them even more.

He smiles at me once again, then turns to the other guys who came with him. “We need to cover the western part still,” he instructs them. “It should take us probably until the morning.” Then, as if he’s not certain whether he should leave me alone here, he turns to me again. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I feel overpowered by memories here,” I admit. “But in a good way. This place makes me hopeful that we shall eventually find him. I need to keep that hope alive.”

“Don’t stay too long,” he advises. “Go home. Let us find him and bring him back, OK?”

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